A Broken Hallelujah

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The song that's making me wipe tears from my eyes this morning...

 I don't know what all the lyrics mean, but I do understand that life is often a broken Hallelujah.   

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Hardest Spiritual Lesson #8: Matthew 6:33

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The second to last "hardest lesson" that many of us will face on our spiritual journeys (though I know there's more I haven't covered): Seeking God’s Kingdom and Righteousness (This will be a long one because there is much to say about it.    And I am drawing in a lot that I wrote in other posts because I think it is all worth repeating again and again.) Matthew 6:33:   “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” We all know that we are supposed to be seeking righteousness and God’s Kingdom.    But are we actually doing it?    And do we really even know what that means?   The reason I ask is because our country is getting so lukewarm and relativistic about spiritual things.    Whole denominations are drifting away from Biblical Christianity and becoming social clubs where the speakers tickle the ears of the congregation and make them feel warm and cozy and comfortable.  ...
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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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White horses and a cup of tea (part 2)

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(picking up where we left off in part 1 ...) And that brings us to this year.   This year I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions.  I was like "meh, who cares?" But then, two things grew naturally in my mind, goals for this year.  (The first one will take three posts, and then I'll share the second one after that.) (Plus, I think I'll keep trying the "talk less, listen more" resolution, too.   I could always use more of that.   And I think I'll add "try to stop speaking negative things."  That won't be easy.  I do far too much of that.): A Theme:   This is going to be my "white horse" year.   "What's a 'white horse'?" you ask.   Well, I'm glad you asked.  I'll tell you.   Here's the thing: I'm an overthinker.  A massive overthinker.  And it causes me lots of anxiety.  Of course, I have some very real things to be concerned about, but I also overthink little things and not-eve...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (tiny, bare-bones version)

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[Here's the tiniest version of my "But predestination!" post.  The short version with more memes and quotes and information can be  found here , and t he longest version (a series of posts full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them, written for my own amusement and for my ex-church) can be found by  starting here .  But this tiny version includes only the most basic parts you need to know, with a few memes and quotes thrown in to spice it up and prove my points.  (I know this could be much tinier, but Calvinism has so many bunny trails, so many interlocking ideas, that it's hard to address one part without addressing more.  So this is as comprehensively tiny as I dared to make it.) ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin ...
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Afraid to Pray?

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Have you ever been afraid to pray? I’m in this place a bit right now.   Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that prayer matters.   That it’s crucial.   I do pray about things.   Prayers of thanksgiving.   Prayers about immediate concerns.   Prayers of “I’m sorry.”   But more and more, I find that the words don’t come easily.   I guess I am afraid because it seems that every time I pray for something, the thing I pray about gets attacked.   Or I feel like my request gets denied, just to teach me a lesson.   Or I feel like the request will be granted, but it will cost me and I will have to pay in some other area. Or I feel like the answers have been coming so slowly and that I have to pray about things for years … so “Why bother starting now when it will just lead to years of anguish?”   Or I think “I’ve already prayed about that for years.   Why ask again?”   Or it feels like when the answer...
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Why Would Anyone Follow Jesus?

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As I was listening to a Christian radio station, they interviewed a random woman on the street who said, “I think the writers of the Bible just made it up to get people to follow them.” And I laughed out loud at the thought of that.  I wanted to ask her if she ever really read the Bible, if she knew what it teaches.  Because if she did, she would have to wonder why anyone would make up some of the things we find in the Bible and think it would cause people to go, "Oh yeah, that sounds great to me!" If you were going to make up a religion and try to get followers, you certainly wouldn’t tell us that ... 1.   We are sinful and cannot rescue ourselves. (How judgmental, discouraging and helpless sounding is that?) 2.   We need a Savior to rescue us. (How humbling!) 3.   Some of the early leaders of the faith were persecuted and killed for it, and we also should expect to be persecuted and hated by the world. ( Who in their right mind...
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Spiritual Warfare: Overestimating Ourselves, Underestimating Satan

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In the last post  of this series, we looked at the danger of underestimating ourselves and overestimating Satan.  Today let's look at the reverse: overestimating ourselves and underestimating Satan.  (This will be a little scattered because there's several angles I want to look at this from.)   While we shouldn't think Satan has more power than he does, we also shouldn't think he has less.  He  is the ruler, the "prince," of this world right now and has been given a lot of leeway (by God's permission) to move around and cause trouble.  Yes, God is still in control over Satan and has him on a leash, but he's still allowed to cause an enormous amount of pain and damage (just look at the world around us, maybe even your own lives).  So may we never be flippant about him or ignorant of his schemes and power.    Here are a handful of verses about Satan/demons (what he's called, what he does, what he's capable of): Satan is called "the pr...
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#16 Righteous Living and Idolatry/Temptation (shortened)

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(For full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .)             Matthew 6:33 :   “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”             We all know that we are supposed to be seeking righteousness and God’s Kingdom.   But are we actually doing it?   And do we really even know what that means?               The reason I ask is because our country is getting so lukewarm and relativistic about spiritual things.   Whole denominations are drifting away from biblical Christianity and becoming social clubs where the speakers tickle the ears of the congregation and make them feel warm and cozy and comfortable.               But that is so not what Jesus did and what the Bible is about!  
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Alexa PenaVega on her heartbreaking loss

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On Godtube, I just watched this touching testimony from Alexa PenaVega (she's in my favorite Christian movies of all time, Do You Believe? , and one of my favorite TV shows, The Middle ).   I had no clue she had gone through such a tragic loss in her life (in 2024, I think) - the death of her newborn baby.  Heartbreaking! I haven't experienced the same kind of loss she did, but I totally appreciate that she's sharing her story, from a heart full of faith.  May God bless her and use her story to encourage others who've gone through loss, too. [One thing that caught my attention is that she quoted a verse - one verse - and it happened to be one (of about 5) that I had just written down shortly before I watched her video.  Out of all the verses in the Bible, I encounter the same one twice within a couple hours... coincidence?   I know that it's a verse I need... and maybe someone else out there needs it too:  "I will refresh the weary and satisfy th...
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What does "God is Sovereign" mean?

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“God is all-wise and all-powerful, so He always does whatever He wants.   And everything that happens is because He wanted it to happen and made it happen.   Since God is in control, He controls everything.   And we have no influence on Him and no ability to exercise our own free-will.” I think this is how many of us view God’s sovereignty.   We think that because He is all-powerful, He always uses His power and controls every detail.   And this view of “sovereignty” is used to support the idea of predestination, that God decides who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.   And so i f you end up in hell, it’s because He wanted you there . . . because He always does what He wants.   We don’t have any real free-will because He is all-powerful.   If we sin, it’s because God made us sin, because He wanted us to sin, for His purposes.   And this view is also used to support the idea that He controls every detail on earth.   If there is ...
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