A Broken Hallelujah

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The song that's making me wipe tears from my eyes this morning...

 I don't know what all the lyrics mean, but I do understand that life is often a broken Hallelujah.   

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Be Wary Of The Christian Post

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(Written 6/15/18)  Occasionally, I check in with the Christian Post to see what's going on in the world that specifically relates to Christians.  And generally, I've never really had any red flags go up about this website ... until now. A recent article by Stoyan Zaimov, with a title that starts "Christian Lesbian rock star ..." goes on to share this woman's story about being assaulted by a male priest when she was young.   However, I don't think the reason for this article is to talk about the abuse she suffered and her courage in speaking up.  I think this is a deliberate attempt to affirm Christian homosexuality.  The very fact that they put "Christian" and "lesbian" in the title makes it sound like it's indeed possible to be a Christian and a practicing homosexual who sees no need to change. And it seems to me that this article paints her in a heroic light, as though she is in the right and should be applauded and e...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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Just Gotta Say I Feel Good Today

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I just gotta say that I feel pretty good today.  It's been awhile since I've felt so ... relieved, I guess.   And I think it really helped to vent the other day .  To complain a bit.  To not have to try so hard to filter everything I say.  (And yet, I did filter.  I was careful.)  But it felt good to be honest.  As honest as I could be. And it helped that an eye visit for two of my sons (right after I wrote that post)went well.   Given all the "waiting for the next pummeling" that I tend to feel every day, I have a really hard time handling some of the most basic things that other people can easily handle.  Last minute changes in plans throw me for a loop.  Too many things scheduled in one week (say, 2-3 things) stresses me out.  Being asked "How are you doing?" makes me want to activate my cloaking device.  Allowing the kids to drive in a car with anyone other than me or my husband freaks me out.  (I used to be...
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Anyone else? (Thank you, Nate...)

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[If you don't want to read this really long post, hang in there because I'll eventually publish it as a series of smaller posts.] Oh my goodness, does anybody else feel this song, too? NF - Oh Lord "What are y'all doing down there?  I don't know, Lord." I don't know, Lord. What a mess. God help us. God help me. "Sometimes I look up to the sky and wonder, 'Do you see us down here, O Lord?'" I totally love Nate (NF) for saying the real, raw, hard things that many of us think and feel but don't often admit out loud, the things we're afraid to say because they don't sound very "good Christiany," the kinds of things Job cried out honestly but that his religiously-high-and-mighty friends scolded and shamed him for.   How about these lines from his song "Paralyzed" : "When did I become so numb?  When did I lose myself?... When did I become so cold?  When did I become ashamed?  Where's the person that I kn...
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How Would You Spend Your Last Day?

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Okay, so today (reposted from 9/23/17) is the beginning of the end of the world, according to a Christian numerologist.  As I went to bed last night, I was thinking, "What if the world really did 'end' tomorrow?  How would we choose to spend our last day?" As I laid in bed by myself last night watching Gilmore Girls for the 832nd time while my husband and kids watched a show together in the other room, I thought about how we all had eaten dinner together earlier (homemade BBQ chicken pizza) and how hubby and I had our "mommy and daddy" time and how we were all just chillin' now with each other, hanging out in our normal low-key way, eating mint chocolate chip ice cream.  And I thought, "This is exactly how I would want to spend my last day.  If the world ended tomorrow or if the rapture really happened and Jesus came back and took my family out of here, I would be happy to end my time on earth like this."  Actually, I can t...
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Links To Other Anti-Calvinism Posts

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Some of my thoughts and research on Calvinism (Why I believe it's not Scriptural!): Why is Calvinism So Dangerous? If Calvinism is true, then God is a liar! What's The Best Way To Make People Agree With Your Calvinist Views? Letter To Our Elders Regarding Calvinism Growing In Our Church Acts 13:48: Not As "Predestination" As It Sounds Sovereignty and Free-Will Working Together Anti-Calvinism Memes and Links Why Is It So Hard For Calvinists To Get Free From Calvinism? Can You Lose Your Salvation? Problems in John Calvin's  Institutes of the Christian Religion Are We Only Here For God's Glory? What About God's Love? So Job was a dimwit, huh? "Defend Your Calvinism" Challenge More Anti-Calvinism Memes.  Just for fun! Some of John Calvin's Contradicting Nonsense! How to tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist (extended version)  and the  (simplified version) You know what happens when you assume things!  A look at John Calvin...
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Leaving Calvinism: Leighton Flowers

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Leighton Flowers is a former 5-point Calvinist who now writes extensively against Calvinism at  Soteriology 101 .  His writing is very concise, polite, and easy-to-understand.  I've visited his site a lot since experiencing Calvinism in our church, and it's one of the top ones I recommend.  My husband and 17-year-old son listen to him all the time.  Here's his YouTube channel and his Facebook page .   Here is his story of leaving Calvinism:  The 5 Points That Led Me To Leave Calvinism
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Leaving Calvinism: Steven Hitchcock

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Here is the short, simple  testimony of a former Calvinist  from Australia, Steven Hitchcock, author of  Recanting Calvinism .  I have not read his book, but there are some really good, concise points in this post. Such as when he talks about the problems with Calvinism's view that God has a hidden Will which undermines and contradicts His revealed Will.   As he points out, if we accept the idea that God has a secret Will that can override what He says in the Bible, then no one can know anything for certain.   If Calvinism is true that God can say one thing but mean another - such as saying He loves all people and wants all people to be saved but He really hates most people and predestines them to hell - then why can't He say (as Calvinists believe) that He elects some people to salvation ... but He's really elected  no one  at all?  If He can't be trusted to say what He means and mean what He says in the Bible, how can Calvinists...
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"Honestly, I Need To Be Broken"

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(A post from my other blog , written March 2, 2022.  I was only adding new posts to that blog at the time, so that's why it wasn't posted here earlier.) I would like to dedicate the following song to anyone who is breaking down right now - like how I broke down this past weekend, sobbing to my husband about everything that's wrong in life and then vomiting uncontrollably for 11 hours because of tension in my neck that triggers my "throw up" button.   Is anyone else exhausted from trying to bear up under the pressures of this fallen, evil, upside-down, post-Covid world, from watching all their expectations crumble, from feeling like the future is just one big blackhole for you and your kids, from not knowing where to turn or what to do or how to do it anymore, and from knowing that you have to  testify against a close relative  in court very soon?  (Okay, maybe that last one is just me.   I've been dizzy every day since just hours before I got the ...
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