A Broken Hallelujah

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The song that's making me wipe tears from my eyes this morning...

 I don't know what all the lyrics mean, but I do understand that life is often a broken Hallelujah.   

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Hardest Spiritual Lesson #8: Matthew 6:33

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The second to last "hardest lesson" that many of us will face on our spiritual journeys (though I know there's more I haven't covered): Seeking God’s Kingdom and Righteousness (This will be a long one because there is much to say about it.    And I am drawing in a lot that I wrote in other posts because I think it is all worth repeating again and again.) Matthew 6:33:   “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” We all know that we are supposed to be seeking righteousness and God’s Kingdom.    But are we actually doing it?    And do we really even know what that means?   The reason I ask is because our country is getting so lukewarm and relativistic about spiritual things.    Whole denominations are drifting away from Biblical Christianity and becoming social clubs where the speakers tickle the ears of the congregation and make them feel warm and cozy and comfortable.  ...
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Alexa PenaVega on her heartbreaking loss

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On Godtube, I just watched this touching testimony from Alexa PenaVega (she's in my favorite Christian movies of all time, Do You Believe? , and one of my favorite TV shows, The Middle ).   I had no clue she had gone through such a tragic loss in her life (in 2024, I think) - the death of her newborn baby.  Heartbreaking! I haven't experienced the same kind of loss she did, but I totally appreciate that she's sharing her story, from a heart full of faith.  May God bless her and use her story to encourage others who've gone through loss, too. [One thing that caught my attention is that she quoted a verse - one verse - and it happened to be one (of about 5) that I had just written down shortly before I watched her video.  Out of all the verses in the Bible, I encounter the same one twice within a couple hours... coincidence?   I know that it's a verse I need... and maybe someone else out there needs it too:  "I will refresh the weary and satisfy th...
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Afraid to Pray?

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Have you ever been afraid to pray? I’m in this place a bit right now.   Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that prayer matters.   That it’s crucial.   I do pray about things.   Prayers of thanksgiving.   Prayers about immediate concerns.   Prayers of “I’m sorry.”   But more and more, I find that the words don’t come easily.   I guess I am afraid because it seems that every time I pray for something, the thing I pray about gets attacked.   Or I feel like my request gets denied, just to teach me a lesson.   Or I feel like the request will be granted, but it will cost me and I will have to pay in some other area. Or I feel like the answers have been coming so slowly and that I have to pray about things for years … so “Why bother starting now when it will just lead to years of anguish?”   Or I think “I’ve already prayed about that for years.   Why ask again?”   Or it feels like when the answer...
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White horses and a cup of tea (part 2)

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(picking up where we left off in part 1 ...) And that brings us to this year.   This year I wasn't going to make any New Year's resolutions.  I was like "meh, who cares?" But then, two things grew naturally in my mind, goals for this year.  (The first one will take three posts, and then I'll share the second one after that.) (Plus, I think I'll keep trying the "talk less, listen more" resolution, too.   I could always use more of that.   And I think I'll add "try to stop speaking negative things."  That won't be easy.  I do far too much of that.): A Theme:   This is going to be my "white horse" year.   "What's a 'white horse'?" you ask.   Well, I'm glad you asked.  I'll tell you.   Here's the thing: I'm an overthinker.  A massive overthinker.  And it causes me lots of anxiety.  Of course, I have some very real things to be concerned about, but I also overthink little things and not-eve...
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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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#10 Understanding God's Will (shortened)

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(For the full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .  And if you want to get deeper into this huge t opic, check out the “Understanding God’s Will” series.)             “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.   Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.”   ( Romans 12:1-2 )
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When Calvinists say "But sovereignty!"

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Since I cover this a lot on this blog, I'll be  brief here (I hope).  (And I'm sorry but after my computer updated something, I can't fix the random highlighting anymore for some reason, so we'll just have to live with it.) I think God's sovereignty is what ensnares many people into Calvinism.  It's the first worm on the hook  (*see note at bottom) .  I think they mean well, intending to honor God as God... but, sadly and without realizing it, Calvinists have fallen for a bad definition of "sovereignty,"  a very unbiblical one that screws up their whole theology from the very beginning (and possibly even eventually their faith and trust in God). And since they've been taught that accepting Calvinism equals humbly submitting to God's sovereignty (His authority), they think  that  rejecting Calvinism is tantamount to rejecting God's sovereignty, elevating man over God.   But contrary to the accusations from Calvinists, non-Calvinists do no...
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Alana L: 6m ("We're so depraved!")

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This is the last post in the series  that's loosely based on this 14-minute video from Alana L.:   5 Signs Your Loved One is Becoming a Calvinist .   Point #6 , added to the end of her video  (Update: I totally redid Points #5 and #6 on my other blog, but instead of changing the already-published posts on this blog, I am adding them after this series as it is.  Look under the Alana L. label for the "updated" versions of these posts, numbered 5K-6Y, plus Z/Conclusion.  They'll be published between December 2025 and Summer 2026.): M .  At the end, Alana points out how you can recognize a Calvinist by how they constantly refer to themselves as depraved, wretched, worthless, etc.    Calvinists are taught to see themselves this way as a way of being humble, of honoring God and His "sovereignty."  It is drilled into their heads repeatedly. From  my ex-pastor's   February 1, 2015 sermon on unbelief:   "Why would people rejec...
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We Left Our Church Because of Calvinism (Things My Calvinist Pastor Said)

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[Yes, I know this is sarcastic, a little spicy and snarky, but I'm okay with that.  Someone's gotta say it.  For the text-only version, no memes,  click here .   For the memes only,  click here .  For the links only,  click here .  Also,  I broke this long post down into smaller posts, so click here for all the links to the individual posts in the  "Things My Calvinist Pastor Said" series .  All memes were created with  imgflip .  (This was updated in July 2020 , and it's being updated again in late 2025, early 2026.)] The inevitable has finally happened, the day we hoped would never come: The day we officially resigned from our church because of our pastor's dogmatic Calvinist preaching (May 20, 2019).   (From now on, I will try to call him our "ex-pastor."  And for the record, it was an Evangelical Free Church, which are being  taken over by Calvinism  all over the place.  So be wary an...
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#18 Expectations and Contentment (Happiness vs. Joy) (shortened)

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(For full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .)             Philippians 4:12 :   “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.   I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”               1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 :   “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”             Contentment and Joy.   Aren’t these two things that we are always looking for?   Actually, what I should say is that we are usually looking for happiness when we should be looking for joy.   And we are not usually content with the way life is because we have too many expectations about what it should be.   Isn’t this more like it for most of us?   ...
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