"I have no clue what you're talking about."

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The other day, I told my sons that if they can't find the official "doggie bags," they can use plastic grocery-store bags (we have an over-abundance of them) to clean up after our dog on walks.  

In response, my 13-year-old son delighted to inform me that "Mom, if you use a Walmart bag to clean up dog poop on the side of the road, you'll look like a crazy lady.  Especially with the kind of hair you have."

Me:


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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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Spiritual Warfare: Overestimating Ourselves, Underestimating Satan

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In the last post  of this series, we looked at the danger of underestimating ourselves and overestimating Satan.  Today let's look at the reverse: overestimating ourselves and underestimating Satan.  (This will be a little scattered because there's several angles I want to look at this from.)   While we shouldn't think Satan has more power than he does, we also shouldn't think he has less.  He  is the ruler, the "prince," of this world right now and has been given a lot of leeway (by God's permission) to move around and cause trouble.  Yes, God is still in control over Satan and has him on a leash, but he's still allowed to cause an enormous amount of pain and damage (just look at the world around us, maybe even your own lives).  So may we never be flippant about him or ignorant of his schemes and power.    Here are a handful of verses about Satan/demons (what he's called, what he does, what he's capable of): Satan is called "the pr...
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Only the Links from "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"

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We just left our church of almost 20 years because of the dogmatic Calvinist pastor who recently came on board.   ( Read my "Letter to Our Elders Regarding Calvinism Growing in Our Church" here.)  And I wrote a post on what "red flags" I would look for in new churches to determine if they are Calvinist or not, and what steps I might take to help me determine it.  (Click on these links for the extended version or the simplified version .   New :  For the super-short version,   click here .   And FYI:  I found a couple times when the Calvinist author of an article I linked to changed the article after I linked to it.  So if an article doesn't seem to match what I said about it, it may be because they altered it. ) B ut since those posts have so many good links to posts about Calvinism, I decided to provide all the links in their own post, so that you don't have to sift through all the writing in the other ones.  So here they ...
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Afraid to Pray?

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Have you ever been afraid to pray? I’m in this place a bit right now.   Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that prayer matters.   That it’s crucial.   I do pray about things.   Prayers of thanksgiving.   Prayers about immediate concerns.   Prayers of “I’m sorry.”   But more and more, I find that the words don’t come easily.   I guess I am afraid because it seems that every time I pray for something, the thing I pray about gets attacked.   Or I feel like my request gets denied, just to teach me a lesson.   Or I feel like the request will be granted, but it will cost me and I will have to pay in some other area. Or I feel like the answers have been coming so slowly and that I have to pray about things for years … so “Why bother starting now when it will just lead to years of anguish?”   Or I think “I’ve already prayed about that for years.   Why ask again?”   Or it feels like when the answer...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (tiny, bare-bones version)

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[Here's the tiniest version of my "But predestination!" post.  The short version with more memes and quotes and information can be  found here , and t he longest version (a series of posts full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them, written for my own amusement and for my ex-church) can be found by  starting here .  But this tiny version includes only the most basic parts you need to know, with a few memes and quotes thrown in to spice it up and prove my points.  (I know this could be much tinier, but Calvinism has so many bunny trails, so many interlocking ideas, that it's hard to address one part without addressing more.  So this is as comprehensively tiny as I dared to make it.) ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin ...
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#10 Understanding God's Will (shortened)

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(For the full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .  And if you want to get deeper into this huge t opic, check out the “Understanding God’s Will” series.)             “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.   Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.   Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.”   ( Romans 12:1-2 )
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#16 Righteous Living and Idolatry/Temptation (shortened)

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(For full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .)             Matthew 6:33 :   “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”             We all know that we are supposed to be seeking righteousness and God’s Kingdom.   But are we actually doing it?   And do we really even know what that means?               The reason I ask is because our country is getting so lukewarm and relativistic about spiritual things.   Whole denominations are drifting away from biblical Christianity and becoming social clubs where the speakers tickle the ears of the congregation and make them feel warm and cozy and comfortable.               But that is so not what Jesus did and what the Bible is about!  
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What does "God is Sovereign" mean?

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“God is all-wise and all-powerful, so He always does whatever He wants.   And everything that happens is because He wanted it to happen and made it happen.   Since God is in control, He controls everything.   And we have no influence on Him and no ability to exercise our own free-will.” I think this is how many of us view God’s sovereignty.   We think that because He is all-powerful, He always uses His power and controls every detail.   And this view of “sovereignty” is used to support the idea of predestination, that God decides who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.   And so i f you end up in hell, it’s because He wanted you there . . . because He always does what He wants.   We don’t have any real free-will because He is all-powerful.   If we sin, it’s because God made us sin, because He wanted us to sin, for His purposes.   And this view is also used to support the idea that He controls every detail on earth.   If there is ...
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How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist (extended version)

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(For the simplified version, click here .   And feel free to copy  this and share it with others, to help them learn to identify Calvinism when they see it.  Just make sure to share the link to this post so that they can find the original one if they want it.  Thank you.   New :  For the super-short version,   click here .   And FYI:  I found a couple times when the Calvinist author of an article I linked to changed the article after I linked to it.  So if an article doesn't seem to match what I said about it, it may be because they altered it. ) We just left our church of almost 20 years because of the dogmatic Calvinist pastor who recently came on board.   Unfortunately, our church was one of the best around, with some of the most biblical teaching.  WAS!  And so now we are struggling with where to go next.   (I just heard that, apparently, the elders were aware of how dogmatic he was before they ...
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A Crash Course in Calvinism (Calvinist Quotes)

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Here is the second half of  the letter  I wrote to pastors who I don't think are Calvinists but who quote from Calvinists a lot.  (I added a few extra quotes and notes that I didn't include in the letter I mailed to them.  When do I ever make anything shorter !?!): FYI, Here are some direct quotes from Calvinists, so that you can see what Calvinism really is in their own words, so that you can see that I’m not exaggerating or misunderstanding them  [my comments in brackets and italics] : John Calvin,  from  Institutes of the Christian Religion,  book 1, chapter 16 :  “Hence we maintain that, by his providence, not heaven and earth and inanimate creatures only, but also the counsels and  wills of men are so governed as to move exactly in the course which he has destined…  Men  do nothing save at the secret instigation of God , and do not discuss and deliberate on anything but what he has previously  decreed  with himse...
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