"I have no clue what you're talking about."

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The other day, I told my sons that if they can't find the official "doggie bags," they can use plastic grocery-store bags (we have an over-abundance of them) to clean up after our dog on walks.  

In response, my 13-year-old son delighted to inform me that "Mom, if you use a Walmart bag to clean up dog poop on the side of the road, you'll look like a crazy lady.  Especially with the kind of hair you have."

Me:


Most Popular Posts of the Week:

List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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White horses and a cup of tea (part 3)

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[I'm working my way through this slowly.  Click here for part 1 and part 2 of this series.]  First, here's The White Horse Parable again (my version): A man and his son owned a field that they farmed for a living.  And one day, they found a white horse in the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer.  "A free horse." But then the horse started tearing up their plants.   "Oh, this is terrible.  What a curse!" cried the farmer.   But then they caught the horse and tamed it and were able to use it to farm the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer. But then the son was thrown off the horse, broke both arms, and couldn't farm for months, reducing their sales and income. "Oh, what a curse," said the farmer. "I wish this horse never came to us.  Why, God?  Why!?!" But then a war started, and the army issued a draft.  But because the son had broken arms, he was excused from the draft and didn't have to f...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (shorter, basic version)

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[I'm interrupting the Alana L. series for the much-shorter version - I said shorter, not short😉 - of my "But predestination!" series.   The longer version - full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them - can be found by  starting here .  But in this simplified version, I'm simply sharing the basics.  And I'll do a tiny version soon too, cutting out many quotes and memes.  But, oh, they add so much that it's hard to cut them out. ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin and evil and all our decisions, and so He pre-picks who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.  He causes the 'elect' to believe in Him and be saved, but He made sure the 'non-elect' have no chance or ability to believe and be saved bec...
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My Response To A "Predestination" Post I Recently Read

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(Part of the "Predestination vs. Free-Will" series) I want to share my response to a post I read from our church.   The person who wrote the post (I believe it was our pastor) quoted Acts 2:23 : “This man [Jesus] was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to a cross.”   The writer’s point is that God pre-planned Jesus’ death and chose to use wicked men to accomplish this.   I can agree with this.   However, the underlying point of his post is that God basically caused the men to be wicked (that He planned their evilness), to accomplish His purposes.   And yet God – even though He planned for and caused these men to be wicked – cannot be accused of doing evil or wrong.  This is a typical Calvinist view.     He also goes on to say that God also planned for Adam and Eve to rebel, to fall.   That it is for His glory that they fell.   The i...
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Giggle Translate #1: Random Facts About Me (Skydiving, Flashlights, and I'm a WHAT!?!)

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I'm bored.  So I've been running some paragraphs I've written through a bunch of randomly-chosen languages in a row with Google Translate and then back into English, just for giggles.  (I'm not serious, uptight, and a deep-thinker all the time.)  It's like a funny, terrible game of "Telephone."  (FYI: Bad word ahead.  Not my fault.  Blame Google Translate.  But I did bleep out a couple letters.)   Here are a few of the first ones I've done so far (the original writing was taken from my post  "Random Facts About Me, Just For Fun" ):
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If They Mated ...

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I think I stumbled upon the perfect "If They Mated ..." scenario for who I look like and how I act.  (You know, when they take two people and morph their faces into one to show what their offspring would look like if they mated.)  I wasn't trying to figure this out or anything; it just came to me as I was watching The Hobbit recently.  And once I saw it in my mind, I couldn't unsee it.  Then after I thought about possibly sharing it with all of you, my mind won't let it go until I do.  And so here it is, much to my chagrin... I kid you not, if you mixed these three characters - their looks and their personalities - you would totally have me.   Frankie Heck from The Middle (Someone once told me I looked like her, when I was a lot younger.  Actually, it was when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond , but we're both a lot older now.  And I was told once I looked like Winona Ryder, for a split second.  Ah, to be young again!) Bard...
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#6 Forgiveness (shortened)

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(For full version of this Bible study "lesson," click here .)             As humans, we all hurt others and are hurt by others.   And the world’s way to deal with this is to hold grudges or to punish others.   But God has a lot to say about forgiveness – His forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others.   And these have major impacts on our relationship with Him and our standing before Him.               Mark 11:25 :   “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”               Matthew 6:14-15 :   “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.   But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”               Psalm 66:18 :   “. ...
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UGW #18: Our Responsibilities Regarding God's Will

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Understanding God's Will #18   (no Calvinism stuff added to this post) : You keep saying that we have responsibilities in getting God’s Will done?    What kinds of responsibilities? I’ve already gone through many of them, but if you read the Bible, you’ll find lots more.   Because as I said before, His Will is a Verb.  It's more about the way we live in obedience to Him than it is about finding "His plan" for our life. He says to seek wisdom.    Do we?    He tells us things that He wants us to do in His Word, things that are always His Will for us, like loving our neighbor, tithing, not gossiping, etc.    Do we obey?    Are we guarding our tongues and building others up, instead of tearing them down?    Are we honoring our marriage vows, and putting up strong protective boundaries around our marriage?    Do we pray or do we think it’s good enough that He can read our minds?    Do we forgiv...
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Spiritual Warfare: Satan's Schemes #1 (unbelief, sin, fear)

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Ephesians 6:11 :  "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes." Satan and demons can cause a lot of trouble (just look at the world!).  They can hurt people's bodies, minds, relationships, futures, etc.  They delight in causing people to hurt others, self-destruct, commit crimes, or engage in any of  "the acts of the sinful nature ... sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, factions, and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like" ( Gal. 5:19-23 ).   They incite  "wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity ... murder, strife and malice,"  and tempt people to become godless, truth-suppressors, thankless, foolish, dark-hearted, idol/nature-worshippers, perverted, depraved, gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of new ways to do evil, disobedient, senseless, faithless, heartless...
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