And Yet Again - 21 More Anti-Calvinism Memes

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I giggle making these.  Helps me blow off steam.

















Except for you ...







"I love being a Calvinist"






























The bookcase







Researching John Calvin















The Pro-Calvinism Meme







Absolutely Sure ...













If you want people ...







Another Predestination Sermon







It's called "Calvinism"







Lucky Dude







"All" Means "Some"







God "In Control"







"Total depravity" (AKA "Total Inability" - a concept NOT found in the Bible anywhere!)







It's been nice ...

Most Popular Posts of the Week:

List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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White horses and a cup of tea (part 3)

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[I'm working my way through this slowly.  Click here for part 1 and part 2 of this series.]  First, here's The White Horse Parable again (my version): A man and his son owned a field that they farmed for a living.  And one day, they found a white horse in the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer.  "A free horse." But then the horse started tearing up their plants.   "Oh, this is terrible.  What a curse!" cried the farmer.   But then they caught the horse and tamed it and were able to use it to farm the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer. But then the son was thrown off the horse, broke both arms, and couldn't farm for months, reducing their sales and income. "Oh, what a curse," said the farmer. "I wish this horse never came to us.  Why, God?  Why!?!" But then a war started, and the army issued a draft.  But because the son had broken arms, he was excused from the draft and didn't have to f...
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Updated: Alana L.: 5O (author vs author)

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[I redid Point #5 and #6 in the Alana L. series on my other blog (and re-lettered the posts).  But instead of going back and changing the already-posted points on this blog, I'll just add the posts in their own little "series."]   Point #5 still :   O:  "Sovereign, sovereign, sovereign, sovereign."       This is not technically a conflation (or maybe it is), but it's a sidenote triggered by this sentence in the last post: "[Calvinism]  truly makes God the author*/cause of all sin and evil, despite a Calvinist's insistence that it doesn't." *Bonus Note: Author vs Author When confronted by the fact that their theology makes God the author of all evil, the cause of all sin, Calvinists will inevitably refer to the Westminster Confession:  " God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass:  yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin ." [...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (shorter, basic version)

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[I'm interrupting the Alana L. series for the much-shorter version - I said shorter, not short😉 - of my "But predestination!" series.   The longer version - full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them - can be found by  starting here .  But in this simplified version, I'm simply sharing the basics.  And I'll do a tiny version soon too, cutting out many quotes and memes.  But, oh, they add so much that it's hard to cut them out. ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin and evil and all our decisions, and so He pre-picks who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.  He causes the 'elect' to believe in Him and be saved, but He made sure the 'non-elect' have no chance or ability to believe and be saved bec...
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My Response To A "Predestination" Post I Recently Read

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(Part of the "Predestination vs. Free-Will" series) I want to share my response to a post I read from our church.   The person who wrote the post (I believe it was our pastor) quoted Acts 2:23 : “This man [Jesus] was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to a cross.”   The writer’s point is that God pre-planned Jesus’ death and chose to use wicked men to accomplish this.   I can agree with this.   However, the underlying point of his post is that God basically caused the men to be wicked (that He planned their evilness), to accomplish His purposes.   And yet God – even though He planned for and caused these men to be wicked – cannot be accused of doing evil or wrong.  This is a typical Calvinist view.     He also goes on to say that God also planned for Adam and Eve to rebel, to fall.   That it is for His glory that they fell.   The i...
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A Foolproof Plan for Bitterness and Discouragement

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(A repost.  This is satire.  Kind of.  Snarky and sarcastic.) We all want to be bitter and discouraged, don’t we?   But how do we get there? Well, don’t worry, I can help you with that!   Because I have put together a simple guide to help us succeed in becoming better bitter people.   It's for those of us who enjoy wallowing in misery but don't know how to get there.  (For those who don't like wallowing in misery and who are seriously struggling with depression and discouragement, don't read this.  Instead read "Is Depression a Sin?" ) But I can just about guarantee that if you carefully follow each of these steps, you too will be bitter in no time. So if you want to discover the delicious power, delightful self-abuse, and ultra-fun finger-pointing that come with bitterness, this is the guide you've been looking for: “A Foolproof Plan for Bitterness and Discouragement: Thirty Simple Steps to Finding the Miserable Life You're Searching For.”...
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Giggle Translate #1: Random Facts About Me (Skydiving, Flashlights, and I'm a WHAT!?!)

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I'm bored.  So I've been running some paragraphs I've written through a bunch of randomly-chosen languages in a row with Google Translate and then back into English, just for giggles.  (I'm not serious, uptight, and a deep-thinker all the time.)  It's like a funny, terrible game of "Telephone."  (FYI: Bad word ahead.  Not my fault.  Blame Google Translate.  But I did bleep out a couple letters.)   Here are a few of the first ones I've done so far (the original writing was taken from my post  "Random Facts About Me, Just For Fun" ):
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If They Mated ...

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I think I stumbled upon the perfect "If They Mated ..." scenario for who I look like and how I act.  (You know, when they take two people and morph their faces into one to show what their offspring would look like if they mated.)  I wasn't trying to figure this out or anything; it just came to me as I was watching The Hobbit recently.  And once I saw it in my mind, I couldn't unsee it.  Then after I thought about possibly sharing it with all of you, my mind won't let it go until I do.  And so here it is, much to my chagrin... I kid you not, if you mixed these three characters - their looks and their personalities - you would totally have me.   Frankie Heck from The Middle (Someone once told me I looked like her, when I was a lot younger.  Actually, it was when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond , but we're both a lot older now.  And I was told once I looked like Winona Ryder, for a split second.  Ah, to be young again!) Bard...
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