"Self-Quarantine" - A Parody To Make You Smile

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A parody we can all appreciate, totally made me smile:

“Self-Quarantine” (a parody of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”)

I love seeing people make the most of this social distancing time.  That's a family that's doing it right!

 (And now someone needs to change Abba's "Dancing Queen" to "Quarantine."  That would be a good one too.)




Most Popular Posts of the Week:

Updated: Alana L. 5N (conflations: foreknow vs foreplan)

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[I redid Point #5 and #6 in the Alana L. series on my other blog (and re-lettered the posts).  But instead of going back and changing the already-posted points on this blog, I'll just add the posts in their own little "series."]  Point #5 still: N:  "Sovereign, sovereign, sovereign, sovereign."     Foreknow vs Foreplan "Oh," the Calvinist replies, "but God needed Assyria (or anybody, for that matter) to be/do evil for His plans, and so He foreplanned they would be/do evil.  They had no ability to do anything else or to choose to be good because God planned to use their evilness.  And so it had to be that way."   My reply to them: "No, I think God foreplanned to  use  Assyria's self-chosen evilness to discipline Israel, but He did not foreplan them to be/do evil.  Assyria had a choice in who they were and what they did.   And God foreknew they would be/chose evil, and so He found a way to work their evil into His plans...
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Is Our Eternity Decided For Us?

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Since we've been talking about the End Times and heaven and hell, the next logical question might be ... "But do we even have a choice about our eternal 'destinies'?  Do we have the free-will to choose Jesus and heaven, or does God predestine us to heaven or hell?" Maybe this question won't cross the minds of many of you.  But it's one I have studied and thought about a lot ... mostly because we have a pastor who hammers the idea of predestination, acting like anyone who disagrees with him is disagreeing with the Bible and dishonoring God.  Like his view is the only way to read the Bible! He even goes so far as to say things like God wanted people in hell - for His glory.  That He planned Adam and Eve's Fall - for His purposes.  That if we sin, it's because God caused it.  And that everything that happens in our lives is caused by God - even childhood abuse - for His glory and our good, and so we just have to trust Him.   [Oh, my goodness, I c...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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Links To Other Anti-Calvinism Posts

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Some of my thoughts and research on Calvinism (Why I believe it's not Scriptural!): Why is Calvinism So Dangerous? If Calvinism is true, then God is a liar! What's The Best Way To Make People Agree With Your Calvinist Views? Letter To Our Elders Regarding Calvinism Growing In Our Church Acts 13:48: Not As "Predestination" As It Sounds Sovereignty and Free-Will Working Together Anti-Calvinism Memes and Links Why Is It So Hard For Calvinists To Get Free From Calvinism? Can You Lose Your Salvation? Problems in John Calvin's  Institutes of the Christian Religion Are We Only Here For God's Glory? What About God's Love? So Job was a dimwit, huh? "Defend Your Calvinism" Challenge More Anti-Calvinism Memes.  Just for fun! Some of John Calvin's Contradicting Nonsense! How to tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist (extended version)  and the  (simplified version) You know what happens when you assume things!  A look at John Calvin...
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If They Mated ...

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I think I stumbled upon the perfect "If They Mated ..." scenario for who I look like and how I act.  (You know, when they take two people and morph their faces into one to show what their offspring would look like if they mated.)  I wasn't trying to figure this out or anything; it just came to me as I was watching The Hobbit recently.  And once I saw it in my mind, I couldn't unsee it.  Then after I thought about possibly sharing it with all of you, my mind won't let it go until I do.  And so here it is, much to my chagrin... I kid you not, if you mixed these three characters - their looks and their personalities - you would totally have me.   Frankie Heck from The Middle (Someone once told me I looked like her, when I was a lot younger.  Actually, it was when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond , but we're both a lot older now.  And I was told once I looked like Winona Ryder, for a split second.  Ah, to be young again!) Bard...
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Updated: Alana L. 5M (conflations: cause vs. allow)

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[I redid Point #5 and #6 in the Alana L. series on my other blog (and re-lettered the posts).  But instead of going back and changing the already-posted points on this blog, I'll just add the posts in their own little "series."]    Point #5 still :   M:  "Sovereign, sovereign, sovereign, sovereign."     In  5K  and  5L  (links to my other blog), I looked at Calvinism's incorrect belief that "sovereign" necessarily means that God preplans/causes all things.  In these next few posts, I want to further examine their misunderstanding of "sovereign" related to their erroneous conflations of "cause" and "allow"... and "foreknow" and "foreplan"... and "natural evils" and "moral evils"... and their deceptive use of the word "authors."   [There will be some redundancy in here and some review of things I said in the previous parts.  I tried making it shorter and more concise, but...
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A Foolproof Plan for Bitterness and Discouragement

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(A repost.  This is satire.  Kind of.  Snarky and sarcastic.) We all want to be bitter and discouraged, don’t we?   But how do we get there? Well, don’t worry, I can help you with that!   Because I have put together a simple guide to help us succeed in becoming better bitter people.   It's for those of us who enjoy wallowing in misery but don't know how to get there.  (For those who don't like wallowing in misery and who are seriously struggling with depression and discouragement, don't read this.  Instead read "Is Depression a Sin?" ) But I can just about guarantee that if you carefully follow each of these steps, you too will be bitter in no time. So if you want to discover the delicious power, delightful self-abuse, and ultra-fun finger-pointing that come with bitterness, this is the guide you've been looking for: “A Foolproof Plan for Bitterness and Discouragement: Thirty Simple Steps to Finding the Miserable Life You're Searching For.”...
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My "When Anxiety Strikes" Playlist

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In the post "Getting through the 'broken' times," I said that I had made a CD to listen to when anxiety hits.  It has some of my favorite Christian songs on it.   Here are as many of the songs as I could find online, plus some extra.  Listen to some of them when anxiety threatens you.  It really does help to hear godly truths spoken out loud (and to speak them out loud yourself).  And personally, I think godly music helps repel evil, giving you some extra spiritual protection when you are most vulnerable.  They don't like to hear God being praised and Truth being sung! (FYI: Videos are constantly being removed from online.  So if the video is no longer available, type in the name and artist and see if you can find it.  I simply can't keep up with replacing links.) From The City Harmonic: Love, Heal Me  - The song that inspired the title of one of my blogs, Love, Heal Me - my heart's cry for the past year. Fell Apart  - One...
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"Predestination vs. Free-Will" Overview

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(Part of the "Predestination Vs. Free-Will" series) I was listening to a speaker recently (our "new" pastor that I told you about earlier) who  strongly believes in predestination, that God decides who to save and who to condemn to hell and that He causes everything we do, even our sins, for His glory and purposes. And I . . . well . . . I couldn’t disagree more! Imagine that I walk into your church and say, “I am taking a group of people on a trip with me.   We are leaving sometime soon, and you have to decide which group you’ll be part of: the one that goes or the rest that stay behind.   I have a destination picked out, a way to get there, I’ve already paid the price to take a group with me, and I’m now asking for those who want to go.   It’s up to you if you want to come or be left behind.   But if you do not deliberately choose to come with me, you will be left behind.”   This, in essence, is the way I view the whole “predestin...
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What does "God is Sovereign" mean?

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“God is all-wise and all-powerful, so He always does whatever He wants.   And everything that happens is because He wanted it to happen and made it happen.   Since God is in control, He controls everything.   And we have no influence on Him and no ability to exercise our own free-will.” I think this is how many of us view God’s sovereignty.   We think that because He is all-powerful, He always uses His power and controls every detail.   And this view of “sovereignty” is used to support the idea of predestination, that God decides who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.   And so i f you end up in hell, it’s because He wanted you there . . . because He always does what He wants.   We don’t have any real free-will because He is all-powerful.   If we sin, it’s because God made us sin, because He wanted us to sin, for His purposes.   And this view is also used to support the idea that He controls every detail on earth.   If there is ...
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