Some Days It Feels Like It's All About to Fall Apart

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I'll be honest, I'm struggling today.  

The news headlines are so overwhelming that it feels like we'll never be okay again.  The weather is so dreary and rainy and cool that it feels like we'll never get a summer before winter comes again.  Friends are hurting from struggles in their lives, losses, heartaches, fears.  We left our church because of theological problems, and now (while I am enjoying the refreshment of staying home on Sundays, watching sermons online with my family) I am feeling the loss of my church home, of the people I used to see weekly, of fellowship.  And I struggle with not being able to talk about our theological concerns with those still at the church.  I want to shout from the rooftops our concerns about this pastor's preaching, but most people like him and agree with him and don't want to hear our concerns and warnings.  And so we keep quiet, aching to warn them but not wanting to hurt them.  And I fear that we are going to hurt our kids with this church-change, pulling them away from the friends too, hurting their chance for godly relationships.  But what can we do?  We can't stay and support that man's view of God!  And then there are other fears I struggle with.  Failing.  Hurting my kid's futures.  Never being good enough.  Letting people down.  Doing it all wrong.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  And yesterday, I got a text saying my mom was back in the hospital (involuntarily) for a three-day observation because of her drinking.  If she was admitted for this, then she must have been in bad condition.  I don't even want to know the details.

All I want to do right now is listen to these songs ... and cry.  Some days - when it feels like it's all about to fall apart - that's all you can do...

Honestly by The City Harmonic (I haven't been able to get this chorus out of my mind for the past few days.)

Praise the Lord by The City Harmonic  (Sometimes, this is the only way to get through the day!)

Fell Apart by The City Harmonic  (I know how this feels.  In heaven, I am going to seek out the members of this band to hug them and tell them what their music meant to me, how it kept me going when I wanted to give up.  And I'm going to hug Tony Evans for preaching Truth, for being there when we left our church and I needed a reliable, godly preacher to listen to.  I'm going to hug these people and cry!)

Oh What Love by The City Harmonic  (It doesn't get much better than the truths in this song!  When I'm hurting too badly to pray on my own, I close my eyes and let songs like these be my prayer for me.)

How about a few from Tenth Avenue North?  Hold My Heart and By Your Side and Healing Begins and Worn (Anyone else understand the feeling of being tired just from the effort it takes to "keep on breathing"?)

Another great song: Strong Enough by Matthew West

And one by Crowder that always makes me smile, reminding me that God's always here with us, that He never leaves our side, even in the pain: I AM

And In The Sky by Bob Carlisle, Russ Lee, and Ashley Cleveland, because I am waiting for this day! And I hope and pray it's soon!


(And click here for more songs.)

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Alana L.: 2e (sufficient/efficient)

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This series is based on this 14-minute video from Alana L.:   5 Signs Your Loved One is Becoming a Calvinist    Point #2:   E.  Alana then pointed out how Calvinists say that Jesus's work on the cross was "sufficient for all of humanity, but it's not efficient [for all]."   It's only "efficient" for some, for the elect. I love it when she said this about "sufficient and efficient": "Okay, huh, new words, not in Scripture."  Priceless!   I think these bogus terms - which are  not  in the Bible - are merely a way for Calvinists to sound like they're saying one thing when they really mean another, to sound like they're saying Jesus died for all when they're really not.  They know that  if they outright said Jesus didn't die for all, it would contradict certain verses and set off people's alarm bells - and so they speak on multiple levels to obscure what they're teaching, to buy them time to slowly, strategically m...
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She hit the nail on the head! Amen, come, Lord Jesus!

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A neighbor just sent this link to me , a video clip (just a minute long) from a woman sharing how she is just done with everything, how she's on autopilot and just wants Jesus to come back again. I absolutely get everything she said and have felt the same way for several years now. Can anyone else relate? Here's a transcript of what she said (I think she voiced what a lot of us have been feeling, like we've been treading water, just trying to get by until the end):  "Does anybody else just ... I'm just, like, checked out of this planet.  I told God today, like, I'm ready.  I've been ready, but I'm like  ready ready.  I don't feel like there's anything that I care about anymore.  I just want to go home.  You know, I just want to be done.   I don't want to battle all of the little battles anymore.  I don't want to pay my taxes anymore - because I know where the money's going.  I don't want to go to the grocery store and spend $40...
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Why Is It So Hard For Calvinists To Get Free From Calvinism?

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This was originally on the end of my post "If Calvinism is true, then God is a liar."   But I think it deserves its own post (I recently updated it a little bit, March 2021): I read something once about how very few people end up freeing themselves from the clutches of Calvinism because of the strong hold it has on people.  I think this is partly because ... 1.   We (I am talking as if I were a Calvinist here) would have to admit that we were misunderstanding Scripture this whole time, and no one wants to admit they could be wrong. 2.   Calvinism appeals to us prideful intellectuals.  (And prideful intellectuals have the greatest aversion to admitting we could be wrong.)  It makes us feel special, like we alone understand the "deeper, hidden meanings of Scripture," while the simple-minded Christians can't understand it.  Calvinism (with all of its contradictions, word play, round-about reasoning, and multiple layers of meaning for verses) gives u...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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"But predestination!" (16B: sin, evil, suffering)

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In this series, I'm examining some things that Calvinists (especially my ex-pastor) say about predestination.   Here's the posts in the whole series:  the pastor's sermons  ("When Calvinists say 'But predestination!'"), and my comments  1-4 (election)  and  5-6 (Romans and sovereignty)  and  7-9 (depravity, Book of Life, predestine)  and  10-11 (shaming tactics, Feb. 2015)  and  12-14 (dead, regeneration, born again)  and  15 (total depravity, manipulation)   and  16A (God's Will, babies)  and  16B (sin, evil, suffering)  and  17 (double-speak and the gospel) . For the shorter "for everyone" version which has a lot less quotes and a lot less of my thoughts,  click here . Sixteen B (I broke #16 up into two halves, so picking up where we left off in the last post...) And now, moving on from the bulk of my comments to the bulk of the Calvinist quotes, showing you Calvinism in its ...
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This One's For You! (A Christmas Sermon)

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Did you ever listen to a sermon where you felt as if God was saying "This one's for you"?  I've never looked up Willow Creek sermons before, but for some reason I decided to watch one yesterday.  And you know what?  This one was meant for me.  It really hit me in the heart.  Watch it; it's good.  In fact, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day and into the night.  (Skip to the 35-minute mark to start the sermon.) "Christmas at the movies: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (December 18, 2022)" (Willow Creek Huntley YouTube channel) Merry Christmas, Everyone! [FYI: I've written before about how I disagree with woman being head pastors.  And it seems that, at Willow, the head pastor is a man but there are several teaching pastors under him, including women.  To me, that's a gray area.  And I'm not sure yet what I think of it.  But  since it doesn't break my hardline, definitive "no woman head pastor" rule , I've decided to ...
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On this Good Friday

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Take some time on this Good Friday to remember what Jesus went through to bring us forgiveness, to offer us all eternal life - and then thank Him for it.   Some great songs and videos about it: Jeremy Riddle's  "Sweetly Broken"   Cloverton's  "Christmas Hallelujah" Michael W. Smith's  "Secret Ambition" Crowder's  "I AM" "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood." ( Romans 3:23-25 ) “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life   in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  ( Romans 6:23 ) “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   ( Romans 5:8 ) "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us...."  ( 1 John 3:16 ) "Christ suffered for you... When ...
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Okay, One More ...

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(Update September 2021: I'll be adding new random posts over at my other blog, https://heathersgardenandhome.blogspot.com .  And I'll have new ones about Calvinism until the end of 2021 at  https://anticalvinistrant.blogspot.com .) Dedicated to all my brothers and sisters in Christ, the faithful few, in these crazy, uncertain times:   Eyes on the Prize   (from the movie Greencard) Listen to the words.  Hear the message.  And hang in there.  It's gonna be okay. Psalm 121:1-2 : “I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Joshua 1:9 : “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Deuteronomy 31:8:  “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; ...
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What Does The Bible Say About Homosexuality?

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So Christian musician Lauren Daigle says she doesn't know either way what the Bible says about homosexuality, whether it's right or wrong.  She says that if anyone finds out, let her know.   Okay, so there's several possibilities about what's happening here.  Among them are: 1.   She has never really read her Bible.  (Or she doesn't want to know what it says, so she isn't studying it very closely.) 2.   She is afraid to say what she really thinks because she knows it would destroy her career.  Maybe it's about her desire to be popular.  Maybe it's about money.  Maybe it's about fear of losing potential listeners that she wants to reach through her music. 3.   She doesn't want to say the truth because she knows it will hurt people (particularly her homosexual friends) and turn people off, and she feels bad about offending anyone.  Maybe she is trying to protect people from the sting of Truth, of out genuine (misguided) conce...
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Songs About The Rapture and Heaven

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I'll be doing a short series on the "End Times" during the rest of August.   But how about we start with some music! First things first ... God's Not Dead  (by Newsboys). I assure you, He's not.   And Jesus is coming back again soon In The Sky  (by Bob Carlisle and others) I know that my family and I are ready. Are you? ( I Wish We'd All Been Ready ) My prayer:  Lord, please,  break open the sky   (by Toby Mac) ! I Can Only Imagine  (by MercyMe) what it will be like  on the day that we rise ( I Will Rise  by Chris Tomlin). How I long for that day ... when we finally make it  Home  (by Chris Tomlin)! We can't wait for the day  that we'll be singing Hallelujah  (by Newsboys)! And to all the scoffers:  Are you so sure He's not coming back again!?! Enough to bet your soul on it?   ( People, Get Ready  by Crystal Lewis)  Grab onto God's  Amazing Grace  (by Chris Tomlin)  while there's still...
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