"Reversing Anxiety Consequences"
I desperately needed to hear this today: Tony Evans' Sermon "Reversing Anxiety Consequences."
I think since 2016, when I had my panic attack and when my mom almost drank herself to death the first time, I have been feeling very fragile, very broken. And now, with her doing it again, it brings me back to that summer. To the panic that tries to swamp my mind the moment I wake up. To the feeling that everything is on the verge of collapsing, of going wrong. To the fear that if I drop one of the 1000 things I carry (or just think I have to carry), they'll all fall, and that no matter what I do, it always ends up bad anyway. To the feeling that I am just so weak, so helpless, so broken, so overlooked by God.
It makes me want to freak out. To crawl in a hole and sleep. To retreat within myself and wallow in misery. To lose it, to crumble into a heap and start sobbing.
But thank you, Tony Evans, for preaching the words I need to hear. For encouragement. For preaching the Truth that will help me get through another trial, another heartache.
And thank You, Heavenly Father, for continuing to hold onto me, to carry me and my concerns, in spite of the fact that I can be so faithless at times. So untrusting. So scared. Thank You for being big enough to handle it all. All my problems, all my fears, all my brokenness, and all the raw, real, ugly feelings and thoughts I have inside. Thank You for loving me anyway.
I think since 2016, when I had my panic attack and when my mom almost drank herself to death the first time, I have been feeling very fragile, very broken. And now, with her doing it again, it brings me back to that summer. To the panic that tries to swamp my mind the moment I wake up. To the feeling that everything is on the verge of collapsing, of going wrong. To the fear that if I drop one of the 1000 things I carry (or just think I have to carry), they'll all fall, and that no matter what I do, it always ends up bad anyway. To the feeling that I am just so weak, so helpless, so broken, so overlooked by God.
It makes me want to freak out. To crawl in a hole and sleep. To retreat within myself and wallow in misery. To lose it, to crumble into a heap and start sobbing.
But thank you, Tony Evans, for preaching the words I need to hear. For encouragement. For preaching the Truth that will help me get through another trial, another heartache.
And thank You, Heavenly Father, for continuing to hold onto me, to carry me and my concerns, in spite of the fact that I can be so faithless at times. So untrusting. So scared. Thank You for being big enough to handle it all. All my problems, all my fears, all my brokenness, and all the raw, real, ugly feelings and thoughts I have inside. Thank You for loving me anyway.
