"Reversing Anxiety Consequences"

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I desperately needed to hear this today: Tony Evans' Sermon "Reversing Anxiety Consequences."  

 I think since 2016, when I had my panic attack and when my mom almost drank herself to death the first time, I have been feeling very fragile, very broken.  And now, with her doing it again, it brings me back to that summer.  To the panic that tries to swamp my mind the moment I wake up.  To the feeling that everything is on the verge of collapsing, of going wrong.  To the fear that if I drop one of the 1000 things I carry (or just think I have to carry), they'll all fall, and that no matter what I do, it always ends up bad anyway.  To the feeling that I am just so weak, so helpless, so broken, so overlooked by God.

 It makes me want to freak out.  To crawl in a hole and sleep.  To retreat within myself and wallow in misery.  To lose it, to crumble into a heap and start sobbing.

 But thank you, Tony Evans, for preaching the words I need to hear.  For encouragement.  For preaching the Truth that will help me get through another trial, another heartache.  

 And thank You, Heavenly Father, for continuing to hold onto me, to carry me and my concerns, in spite of the fact that I can be so faithless at times.  So untrusting.  So scared.  Thank You for being big enough to handle it all.  All my problems, all my fears, all my brokenness, and all the raw, real, ugly feelings and thoughts I have inside.  Thank You for loving me anyway.

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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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Be Wary Of The Christian Post

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(Written 6/15/18)  Occasionally, I check in with the Christian Post to see what's going on in the world that specifically relates to Christians.  And generally, I've never really had any red flags go up about this website ... until now. A recent article by Stoyan Zaimov, with a title that starts "Christian Lesbian rock star ..." goes on to share this woman's story about being assaulted by a male priest when she was young.   However, I don't think the reason for this article is to talk about the abuse she suffered and her courage in speaking up.  I think this is a deliberate attempt to affirm Christian homosexuality.  The very fact that they put "Christian" and "lesbian" in the title makes it sound like it's indeed possible to be a Christian and a practicing homosexual who sees no need to change. And it seems to me that this article paints her in a heroic light, as though she is in the right and should be applauded and e
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Sermons by Tony Evans (repost)

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(I recently fixed the broken links as well as I could, had to switch some out for others) Tony Evans is my all-time favorite pastor.  He always gives messages that convict, challenge, and comfort.  Here are some sermons that I have listened to or am going to listen to.  For more, simply go to his website by clicking here .  There are so many great ones to choose from. You can't go wrong with any video of his.  I found him to be the most biblically-accurate preacher (especially as I researched Calvinism and found out how wrong it is), who is also great at helping us practically apply God's truths to life. Reversing Anxiety Consequences Keeping the faith when life gets hard Trusting God in a storm How to have strength in your struggles How to overcome your worry How to Get Your Prayers Answered Trusting The God You Believe In God knows what He is doing How the enemy tries to distract you from God's plan Grab your sword The Secret to Powerful Prayer Spiritual Warfare playl
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Help for Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Thoughts

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It's so sad to hear about all the celebrities who have recently committed suicide (or about anyone who has committed suicide, for that matter).  My heart breaks for them, for the pain they went through, and for the ones who love them, for the pain they are now going through.  It is truly a tragedy. To anyone who is hurting really badly, who is struggling with overwhelming anxiety or depression, who is considering taking their own lives ... I dedicate this post.  Please, take some time to look through some of the links here.  This is a round-up of some on-line resources or posts about dealing with anxiety or depression, particularly as a Christian. But first: Quick tips for help: If you are desperate for some immediate help and don't want to look through the links I have below, try some of these: 1.   Put on a worship song right now.  Or sing a worship song out loud.  (Or watch some Tony Evans sermons for encouragement, find a list by clicking here .)  If demo
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Spiritual Warfare: Satan's Schemes #9 (bitterness, unforgiveness)

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This is the next-to-last of the "Satan's Schemes" posts in the Spiritual Warfare series (and it's a repost from something I wrote elsewhere)... and then I'll  move on. John 10:10 :  "Jesus said, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy...'" To steal our peace, joy, and contentment.  To kill our hopes, passion, and Christian witness.  And to destroy our friendships, family, faith, and futures.  Among many other things.   And I think one of Satan's biggest tools for this is the snare of unforgiveness and bitterness.  If he can get us to focus on - and constantly ruminate on -  all our hurts, all the ways we’ve been cheated in life, the ways people let us down or treated us poorly, the ways God let us down, the ways we let ourselves down, all the things that've gone wrong, etc., then we'll grow more and more  bitter, discouraged, defeated, and closed-off... and farther and farther from God, His truth, other people, and any hope fo
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She hit the nail on the head! Amen, come, Lord Jesus!

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A neighbor just sent this link to me , a video clip (just a minute long) from a woman sharing how she is just done with everything, how she's on autopilot and just wants Jesus to come back again. I absolutely get everything she said and have felt the same way for several years now. Can anyone else relate? Here's a transcript of what she said (I think she voiced what a lot of us have been feeling, like we've been treading water, just trying to get by until the end):  "Does anybody else just ... I'm just, like, checked out of this planet.  I told God today, like, I'm ready.  I've been ready, but I'm like  ready ready.  I don't feel like there's anything that I care about anymore.  I just want to go home.  You know, I just want to be done.   I don't want to battle all of the little battles anymore.  I don't want to pay my taxes anymore - because I know where the money's going.  I don't want to go to the grocery store and spend $40
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Should "Satan" Be Capitalized?

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(reposted from my other blog)             I’ve read a lot of things lately where Christian people won’t capitalize the name “Satan.”   They say it’s because they don’t want to give him that much credit or attention.               And while I can appreciate that sentiment, why do I still capitalize his name?             Because the inspired Word of God does.   "Satan" is a name, not an adjective or a common noun.  But a name.  And names get capitalized.  And so if the Bible capitalizes his name, identifying him as an actual being, who  am I to act like I know better?             One author in particular said he barely talks about Satan because he doesn’t want to focus on him in any way.   He doesn’t want to give Satan that much “air-time.”               But the Bible talks about Satan and evil all the time.   It warns us about him, cautions us about him, tells us how to defend ourselves against him and his attacks.      
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For my new friend who's struggling:

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  Thank you so much for talking with me yesterday.  For sharing your hurts, losses, and struggles honestly.  It was a real blessing for me.  Honest, real, vulnerable people are my kind of people, the kind I respect the most.  😊 To you (and anyone else who's hurting or struggling), I dedicate some of my favorite songs, ones that help me when I'm hurting and struggling.  I've had many of those times myself. (You might also like this post:  Healing your soul from Calvinism's damage .) From my favorite band, The City Harmonic  - the band that got me through my hardest times.  Their words became my prayers when I was so broken that I didn't have my own  words to pray anymore.: Honestly  (I understand this) Fell Apart  (My favorite opening line in a song, ever) Oh, What Love  (One of my all-time favorites - grace, forgiveness, mercy, healing, hope, purpose, all wrapped up in His amazing love!) Praise the Lord  (This is the key to getting through painful trials with our f
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My Favorite Live Bird Cams (and a few others too)

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I enjoy checking in on these live bird cams every now and then.  Especially when we are knee-deep in snow and it's 10 degrees outside. Ontario Backyard Cam Sapsucker Woods Panama Fruit Feeders Red Tail Hawks   Bermuda Petrels   Hellgate Ospreys   Savannah Ospreys   Hummingbirds   Great Horned Owls   Southwest Florida Eagle Cam   And here's some more random ones: Live Bird Feeder in Michigan Panda Cam Tropical Reef Cam Cornell Lab Live Bird Cams  (most are in the links above already) Shark Live Cam Lemurs Ape Cam And there's a bunch of wildlife cams to choose from here:   Sportsman Paradise Online
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#5: Spiritual Loneliness, May 2017 (repost)

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(Update on my mom, 3/20/19:  Apparently, she is up and about, back to traveling and living life.  We'll see where this goes.)             As I have walked this journey of faith, I learned something that I never read in any book on faith:               The deeper you go in your walk with the Lord, the lonelier it can get.               The higher you climb on the mountain of faith, the less people you’ll find climbing with you.               First off, other people can’t go with you into the hardest parts of your journey - when you are struggling the most with your faith, with the hardest trials, with the deepest truths and doubts and fears.   Those struggles are between you and yourself and the Lord.
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