Dealing With Daily Anxiety

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(Not part of the "Calvinist Bad Logic" series.)

Given all the stress that's gone on in my life over the years (especially the past 3), I face daily anxiety.  At times it's been nearly overwhelming.  Terrifyingly overwhelming.  But lately, it's been a simmering anxiety that is there the moment I wake up.  And I'm always afraid I am going to lose it, that something else will happen that will knock me off my feet.  And so I need to do what I can to get a grip on fear from the minute I wake up.

Of course, I've written before on anxiety and on ways I've dealt with it over the years.

But lately, my daily, morning "plan" (even before breakfast, because I've had a hard time eating lately from stress) includes praying (sometimes even just the Lord's prayer), reading my Bible and an inspirational godly book, and watching a Tony Evans sermon.

I also have to remind myself that fear lies, and that with a little time, help, and effort, I've gotten past the fear every morning.  I have to remind myself that if I got through the summer of 2016, then I can get through anything.  (Not that I'm challenging God to try to break me worse than 2016, or anything like that.  You see, that's how my mind works.  I get afraid that if I "celebrate" that I got past a horrible trial, if I say "If I made it through that, then I'll make it through this too," then God might see it as a sort of challenge to prove to me how much more I can break if He just piles on enough trials.  But this isn't me having confidence in myself to handle the trials.  I know that I don't.  I've broken too badly to have any confidence in myself.  If there's one thing I've learned about the journey of faith over the years, it's that genuine faith is messy.  My life has fallen apart too much for me to think I know what I'm doing or how to handle things or how to fix things.  I have no confidence in myself anymore.  But I do have confidence in God to keep picking up the pieces of my shattered life and shattered heart, and to keep remaking them into something good, even if it doesn't fit my definition of "good."  But I trust that in eternity, I'll finally see and understand how it all worked together to make something beautiful.  Something rewarding.  Something worthwhile.  And I'm going to keep hanging in there until then.)

I need to be nestled up to God and immersed in His Truth daily.  I need to call out to Him in prayer, even if I really have no words other than "Oh, God.  I need You."  I need to read God's Word, meditate on it, and hear it preached from someone I trust.  I need to listen to godly, encouraging music.  Sometimes, I need to approach it more deliberately as a "spiritual warfare" thing.  (Here are 80+ Verses for Spiritual Warfare.) 

Basically, I just need more and more of God, of Jesus, every day. 

I don't know how people make it through this stressful life without Him.

Parts of Psalm 18, with my small additions in brackets:

"I love you, LORD, my strength.  The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.  The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.  The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.  In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.... 

 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.  He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, [from my fears] who were too strong for me.... 

 With your help I can advance against a troop [of fears and trials]; with my God I can scale a wall.  As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.  For who is God besides the LORD?  And who is the Rock except our God?  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.  He trains my hands for [spiritual] battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.  You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me; your help has made me great.  You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.... 

 The LORD lives!  Praise be to my Rock!  Exalted be God my Savior!  Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations; I will sing the praises of your name."


(If you're tired of dealing with anxiety, of facing this life on your own, of trying to stand on your own two feet in the face of overwhelming trials that repeatedly attempt to knock you down, give Jesus a try.  You don't have to struggle through this life on your own.  What a hopeless, depressing thought that would be.  Life may be hard no matter what, but I'd rather face it from God's strong hands than face it on my own.)

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