"Without You"
For King and Country is fast becoming a favorite band of mine. They have such beautiful music and such meaningful lyrics.
I just found this song ... "Without You."
It came out of a time of serious physical sickness, from wanting to not die, wanting to be able to stay with those you love. But I think the deeper meaning is not wanting to lose God, even when we are struggling with our deepest aches and trials. It's about choosing to cling fiercely to Him, being brought to our knees in humility, even when everything is bad. It's about saying, "No matter what, I won't leave You."
I know how that feels. In 2016, I went through my worst year ever. I got to a point where I didn't want to wake up in the morning because paralyzing panic flooded my mind the moment I woke up, and depression enveloped me the rest of the day. Where I couldn't pray anything but "Please, come back, Jesus. Just come back now and end it all." Where I wanted to be done with my faith because I felt like if I went it alone, at least I wouldn't feel like God had let me down or abandoned me.
But ... through this trial, through this most difficult, discouraging time, I realized something. I don't have faith because God gives me what I want or because life turns out the way I want. I have faith because God is real. Because He is the answer - the only real, worthwhile, meaningful Answer to life, to our questions about our purpose, our value, our futures.
He's the only real hope we have for our hopeless situation.
And I would rather go forward into the darkness, through the discouraging trials, with God by my side ... than try to make my life what I want it to be, in my own strength and wisdom, with no God to lean on or carry me through or give me hope that someday all things will be made right again.
I'd rather have the trials with God ... than have a happy life without God.
No matter what, I wasn't going to go forward without Him. Through my tears, I chose to cling to Him through it all, to journey to Him and with Him, till the end. (I love this quote by Reepicheep. Brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.)
And this song makes me think of that time. It makes me think of those who are struggling through life, with illness, with emotional trauma, with depression and fear, with broken hearts.
All those "thorns in our sides" that make us want to give up hope can eventually become the very things that purify our faith and our focus and our trust in Him, that deepen our faith and our faithfulness, that drive us humbly to our knees, that make Him more real than any trial we face.
If we let them. If we don't turn away from Him in discouragement.
If we choose "With Him" instead of "Without Him."
I just found this song ... "Without You."
It came out of a time of serious physical sickness, from wanting to not die, wanting to be able to stay with those you love. But I think the deeper meaning is not wanting to lose God, even when we are struggling with our deepest aches and trials. It's about choosing to cling fiercely to Him, being brought to our knees in humility, even when everything is bad. It's about saying, "No matter what, I won't leave You."
I know how that feels. In 2016, I went through my worst year ever. I got to a point where I didn't want to wake up in the morning because paralyzing panic flooded my mind the moment I woke up, and depression enveloped me the rest of the day. Where I couldn't pray anything but "Please, come back, Jesus. Just come back now and end it all." Where I wanted to be done with my faith because I felt like if I went it alone, at least I wouldn't feel like God had let me down or abandoned me.
But ... through this trial, through this most difficult, discouraging time, I realized something. I don't have faith because God gives me what I want or because life turns out the way I want. I have faith because God is real. Because He is the answer - the only real, worthwhile, meaningful Answer to life, to our questions about our purpose, our value, our futures.
He's the only real hope we have for our hopeless situation.
And I would rather go forward into the darkness, through the discouraging trials, with God by my side ... than try to make my life what I want it to be, in my own strength and wisdom, with no God to lean on or carry me through or give me hope that someday all things will be made right again.
I'd rather have the trials with God ... than have a happy life without God.
No matter what, I wasn't going to go forward without Him. Through my tears, I chose to cling to Him through it all, to journey to Him and with Him, till the end. (I love this quote by Reepicheep. Brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.)
And this song makes me think of that time. It makes me think of those who are struggling through life, with illness, with emotional trauma, with depression and fear, with broken hearts.
All those "thorns in our sides" that make us want to give up hope can eventually become the very things that purify our faith and our focus and our trust in Him, that deepen our faith and our faithfulness, that drive us humbly to our knees, that make Him more real than any trial we face.
If we let them. If we don't turn away from Him in discouragement.
If we choose "With Him" instead of "Without Him."
