A Weekly Dose of Satire

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I love satire.  Always have.  Here are some good pieces I just found:

 Miraculous: Clump of Cells Transforms into Fully-Formed Baby Upon Womb Exit  (This has happened to me four times!  It's amazing!  Caused my doctor to shout out in surprise: "Oh my goodness!  A huge chunk of your body just fell out of you!")


Nation's Christians Shocked That Popular CCM Artist Doesn't Have Robust Theology


 In Upcoming Reboot, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer To Sue Santa Claus For Discrimination


Veggie Tales Producers Apologize For Episode Where Larry The Cucumber Joins The KKK


Woke Parents Refuse To Assume Newborn Baby's Nutrition Preferences


Hollywood Working On Official List Of Comedians It's OK To Laugh At  (Always great to have more "thought police" and "social justice warriors" working for us, making the world a better place!)


Most Popular Posts of the Week:

Updated: Alana L.: 5O (author vs author)

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[I redid Point #5 and #6 in the Alana L. series on my other blog (and re-lettered the posts).  But instead of going back and changing the already-posted points on this blog, I'll just add the posts in their own little "series."]   Point #5 still :   O:  "Sovereign, sovereign, sovereign, sovereign."       This is not technically a conflation (or maybe it is), but it's a sidenote triggered by this sentence in the last post: "[Calvinism]  truly makes God the author*/cause of all sin and evil, despite a Calvinist's insistence that it doesn't." *Bonus Note: Author vs Author When confronted by the fact that their theology makes God the author of all evil, the cause of all sin, Calvinists will inevitably refer to the Westminster Confession:  " God from all eternity, did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass:  yet so, as thereby neither is God the author of sin ." [...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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If They Mated ...

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I think I stumbled upon the perfect "If They Mated ..." scenario for who I look like and how I act.  (You know, when they take two people and morph their faces into one to show what their offspring would look like if they mated.)  I wasn't trying to figure this out or anything; it just came to me as I was watching The Hobbit recently.  And once I saw it in my mind, I couldn't unsee it.  Then after I thought about possibly sharing it with all of you, my mind won't let it go until I do.  And so here it is, much to my chagrin... I kid you not, if you mixed these three characters - their looks and their personalities - you would totally have me.   Frankie Heck from The Middle (Someone once told me I looked like her, when I was a lot younger.  Actually, it was when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond , but we're both a lot older now.  And I was told once I looked like Winona Ryder, for a split second.  Ah, to be young again!) Bard...
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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (shorter, basic version)

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[I'm interrupting the Alana L. series for the much-shorter version - I said shorter, not short😉 - of my "But predestination!" series.   The longer version - full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them - can be found by  starting here .  But in this simplified version, I'm simply sharing the basics.  And I'll do a tiny version soon too, cutting out many quotes and memes.  But, oh, they add so much that it's hard to cut them out. ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin and evil and all our decisions, and so He pre-picks who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.  He causes the 'elect' to believe in Him and be saved, but He made sure the 'non-elect' have no chance or ability to believe and be saved bec...
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A totally sweet little song: It's a Beautiful Day

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Oh my goodness, I'm totally loving this sweet little song (by The Kiffness and Rushawn):  It's a Beautiful Day  (click on it) Take three minutes today to watch it and smile! (Could you imagine how you would feel if you watched this song every morning or evening for the next month?  I might try it along with my Bible reading.  A New Year's resolution.)  
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The Importance of Brokenness

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Such a great sermon, one we can all learn a lot from and be encouraged by: "Encountering God's Process"   by Tony Evans (And here's a great 10-minute video from his daughter, Priscilla Shirer:  "We're Desensitized to our Blessings."   It just seemed to speak so well to the crazy world we're living in right now, maybe because now seems like the perfect time to dig through all the distractions around us to find Jesus.)  And it's funny because just the other day, I was updating and typing up a "Bible Study/workbook" thing I wrote years ago, called  "Through the Refining Fire: Your 'Sweetly Broken' Journey,"  and the stuff Dr. Evans was saying in the beginning was almost exactly the stuff I had just typed up, about how God usually has to break us to rebuild us, how it's part of the process of spiritual growth.   I am sending this "Through the Refining Fire" workbook to my relative  who's in jail  because ...
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TULIP's Totally-Depraved Doctrine (a snippet)

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[This is a snippet from  another post (but slightly updated here) that will be coming up later.]  Calvinism's TULIP petals are all built on each other, one after the next.  And it all starts with "total depravity" (their bad definition of it) : R.C. Sproul  ( Total Depravity part 1 ) :   "... if a person really embraces the doctrine of total depravity, the other four points in this five-point system more or less fall in line. They become corollaries of this first point." And so if they can get you to buy into their view of total depravity (as "total inability"), they can easily get you to buy into their whole TULIP, ensuring that you will become a Calvinist. Because if we are "totally unable" to believe on our own, then God has to decide who believes (unconditional election)...  which necessarily implies a "limited atonement" because Calvi-Jesus wouldn't die for those predestined to reject him...   which then requires "irre...
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Is The ESV (English Standard Version) a Calvinist Bible?

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Just in case anyone missed this post (the longer title made it easy to miss the "ESV" part) ... "A Random Verse That Destroys Calvinism (And "Is The ESV a Calvinist Bible?") In that post, I write about a bunch of verses that I believe were intentionally translated to be more Calvinistic or based on manuscripts that are too corrupt to be trusted.  (Click on it to see the verses.)   And why would I think that the translators of this Bible version would do that? (From that post...) The ESV and ESV Study Bible are majorly preferred by Calvinists.  In fact, it's often considered "The Calvinist Bible."   Why?  And why would translators of a Bible make these kinds of Calvinist tweaks to Scripture? Wayne Grudem and J.I. Packer were editors on the  ESV Study Bible   (this is for the ESV Global Study Bible).  Grudem and Packer are both popular, strong, dogmatic Calvinists.  Very Big Names in the world of Calvinism.  Grudem in the General...
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Pray for Kanye and Kim

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First off, let me say that I have never been a fan of the Kardashians or of Kanye.  I have never watched an episode of the Kardashians, nor could I identify even one Kanye song.  So this isn’t coming from a super-fan of either of these people.  This is coming from the heart of a Christian who knows how strong the spiritual battle is and how much we need prayer. I am asking other Christians out there to pray for Kanye and Kim. I know that there are a lot of Christians who mock Kanye’s conversion.  But I don’t.  I would NEVER mock another person whose brokenness led them to Christ.  That has got to be one of the quickest ways to discourage a new Christian, someone who needs the support of other Christians to help them grow in faith and wisdom.  And yet, here are fellow “Christians” ripping apart a new believer instead of coming alongside him and encouraging him.  Shame on them! Shame on them!   It's hard enough to be a Christian, even h...
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