A Weekly Dose of Satire

-
I love satire.  Always have.  Here are some good pieces I just found:

 Miraculous: Clump of Cells Transforms into Fully-Formed Baby Upon Womb Exit  (This has happened to me four times!  It's amazing!  Caused my doctor to shout out in surprise: "Oh my goodness!  A huge chunk of your body just fell out of you!")


Nation's Christians Shocked That Popular CCM Artist Doesn't Have Robust Theology


 In Upcoming Reboot, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer To Sue Santa Claus For Discrimination


Veggie Tales Producers Apologize For Episode Where Larry The Cucumber Joins The KKK


Woke Parents Refuse To Assume Newborn Baby's Nutrition Preferences


Hollywood Working On Official List Of Comedians It's OK To Laugh At  (Always great to have more "thought police" and "social justice warriors" working for us, making the world a better place!)


Most Popular Posts of the Week:

When Sunday Comes

-
First: The last scene of the Passion of the Christ (7 minutes long)  Today, let's remember why Jesus came to earth, died, and rose again: “… ‘Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the whole world.”  ( John 1:29 ) "For what I received I passed onto you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures,"  ( 1 Cor. 15:3-4 ) “Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.”  ( Romans 5:18 ) "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies,"  ( John 11:25 ) “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”  ( Ephesians 1:7 ) “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the t...
Read more

Did He Visit My Church?

-
Too funny!  Did the writer of this satirical article visit my church during my pastor's 8-month-long series on Romans?   I am absolutely convinced that my dogmatically-predestination pastor did a series on Romans specifically so he could talk about predestination for EIGHT MONTHS. (The good thing that came out of it is that I ended up thoroughly researching this issue and studying the Bible to come to the conclusion that I don't believe God predestines whether we go to heaven or hell.)
Read more

Things My Calvinist Pastor Said #13: God Doesn't Love Everyone

-
Image
(This "Things My Calvinist Pastor Said" series is a breakdown on this much longer post:  "We Left Our Church Because of Calvinism,"  which was written last year but updated July 2020.  They are almost exact quotes.  All memes were created with  imgflip .) 13.   "The Bible says God loves people.  But the Bible is clear that God does not love  all  people and He doesn't love everyone  equally .  He elected some sinners to salvation, and He predestined some for eternal damnation."             Find me the verse that says God does not love everyone the same way!  Or a verse about how God's love is shown by whether or not He elects you to heaven.  Find me an  actual verse  that  clearly  says something like that, not just a mish-mash of verses, taken-out-of-context, about how God loved Jacob and hated Esau (the passage my pastor was using).       ...
Read more

List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

-
I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
Read more

Some Satire, Just For Fun

-
Who doesn't love a little satire now and then ... Google Celebrates Noahic Covenant Anti-Choice Judge Progressive OB/GYN Ultrasound Tech Refuses To Tell Couples Whether Baby Boy Or Girl How Do You Define "Hate Speech"? Compassionate: This Democratic Representative Is So Opposed To Gun Violence That He's Willing To Nuke The Entire Country To Stop It Liberals Remind Nation Satire Only OK When Mocking Conservatives Tolerance Police Progressive Christian Wishes Jesus Were As Woke As She Is Progressive Probs Women's March Aides Force Ocasio-Cortez To Watch Entire Run Of Schoolhouse Rock Report: Millennials More Open To Socialism, Touching Hot Stove, Sticking Face In Sack Full Of Badgers Socialist Leaders Clarify: 'We Only Want Socialism For Everyone Else' Judge Orders Trump, Acosta To Wear Their Get-Along Shirt (Could you even imagine?  That would be so fun to see!) Fed Up With Oppressive Capitalism, Bernie Sanders ...
Read more

One Pastor's Prophetic Dream of Things to Come

-
I am not one for listening to other people's prophetic dreams or visions.  Far too many people over the years have thought God gave them some sort of special insight, which proved to be false or unimportant.  I am especially wary now since everything seems so "end timesy."  It's far too easy to get caught up in sensationalizing or over-spiritualizing everything.  But sometimes, someone's account of their dream or vision makes you go, "Hmm."  And while I still don't put much stock into other people's "God told me X,Y, or Z" stories, I do think some things are worth listening to and storing in the back of your mind.  Just in case.  These are strange days and, if we are really headed into the end times soon, then things will probably only get more "supernatural."  And if that's the case, then anything's possible.   (On a different note, having nothing to do with this pastor's dream, but speaking of "strange d...
Read more

Don't answer Calvinist questions. Dismantle them.

-
Image
  A snippet (edited a bit) from my post (on my other blog)  "When Calvinists say, 'But Sovereignty!' :  Many people often get suckered into Calvinism because of a Calvinist's strategic use of  false dichotomies , often starting with "Is God sovereign, or are you? "  We are  given two options: a ridiculous one that no good Christian would pick and the one that is designed to lead us deeper into Calvinism.   And it's a very effective method for a simple reason: We never question their definition of "sovereign."  We go "Oh, well, of course God is sovereign," and then we let the Calvinist implant their definition of sovereign into our minds, their idea of how a sovereign God must act... and before we know it, we're viewing the Bible through that lens. There are also other false dichotomies like " Is God all-powerful, or are you?   Does God control everything, or do you?  Did God save you, or did you save yourself?  Either God ...
Read more

#6: When You Don't Feel Like You're Enough, August 2017 (repost)

-
[Reposted from August 5, 2017.  I had my panic attack the summer of 2016.  I remember it took me about six months to not feel absolute panic every morning, to be able to wake up without feeling terror at the thought that I had to face another day, another chance for something bad to happen.  And it took me even longer to be able to really smile again, to feel a little lightness in my spirit, to be able to breathe again.  I mean, of course, I smiled before that.  I acted like I was okay.  But I didn't feel like smiling or being happy for the longest time.  I was just too afraid of life - too discouraged by life - to be able to smile.  This post was written as I was still working towards being "normal," as I worked on protecting my faith after the previous summer.  The way I see it, my life has been marked by that panic attack.  It's now "BPA" (Before Panic Attack) or "APA" (After Panic Attack).  That summer was just such a life- and...
Read more

This One's For You! (A Christmas Sermon)

-
Did you ever listen to a sermon where you felt as if God was saying "This one's for you"?  I've never looked up Willow Creek sermons before, but for some reason I decided to watch one yesterday.  And you know what?  This one was meant for me.  It really hit me in the heart.  Watch it; it's good.  In fact, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day and into the night.  (Skip to the 35-minute mark to start the sermon.) "Christmas at the movies: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (December 18, 2022)" (Willow Creek Huntley YouTube channel) Merry Christmas, Everyone! [FYI: I've written before about how I disagree with woman being head pastors.  And it seems that, at Willow, the head pastor is a man but there are several teaching pastors under him, including women.  To me, that's a gray area.  And I'm not sure yet what I think of it.  But  since it doesn't break my hardline, definitive "no woman head pastor" rule , I've decided to ...
Read more

UGW #22: So What, Ultimately, Is God's Will?

-
Understanding God's Will #22 (final post in series): So what is the Will of God, according to the Bible?    And how do I find the next step in His plan for me?                  Well, I’m glad you asked.    But do you really want to know?    Because once you know then you have a decision to make: obey or disobey.    And doing God's Will is not a simple, quick thing.    It’s a life-long, life-altering discipline.    And that’s part of the problem because we want simple jobs with quick and massive rewards.    We want to put in the least amount of effort and get the most benefits possible.    We want Him to open the doors, but we don’t want any responsibilities.    We want freedom, but no consequences.                But that is not God’s way.  ...
Read more