What Happened After Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer?

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Okay, so we all know that Grandma got run over by a reindeer ... but guess what happened next?

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa

Who knew!?!  I sure didn't, not till just a few years ago.

(I'm warning you now: This one will get stuck in your head.)

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When Calvinists say "But predestination!" (tiny, bare-bones version)

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[Here's the tiniest version of my "But predestination!" post.  The short version with more memes and quotes and information can be  found here , and t he longest version (a series of posts full of many more Calvinist comments, my Calvinist ex-pastor's sermons, and my replies to them, written for my own amusement and for my ex-church) can be found by  starting here .  But this tiny version includes only the most basic parts you need to know, with a few memes and quotes thrown in to spice it up and prove my points.  (I know this could be much tinier, but Calvinism has so many bunny trails, so many interlocking ideas, that it's hard to address one part without addressing more.  So this is as comprehensively tiny as I dared to make it.) ] At the heart of Calvinism is predestination and God's sovereignty (among other things, like "total depravity"), which according to Calvinism essentially amounts to:  "God preplans and controls everything, even sin ...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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Winning the Battle

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(Reposted from my other blog ... because I needed to be reminded of it often.) I have been in a “funk” lately.  I get in them often, comes with being a child from a broken home.  (This is a repost of something I wrote years ago, but it still strongly applies.)   Prayer has felt futile.  I’ve been wanting to pull back from people.  I am struggling to accept certain “life problems” that I wish I didn’t have.  And I constantly deal with feelings of failure and not mattering. I know it’s not proper for a Christian to expose the fact that they are dealing with depression and frustration with God and disappointment with prayer and unhappiness with life.  I know we are supposed to plaster on that “good, happy, Christian smile” and act like we are full of joy and peace and contentment.  (Or are we?)   But this is the truth about how I feel.  And if I can’t be real with God and other Christians (even anonymously on this blog), then who can I be r...
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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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"But predestination!" (16B: sin, evil, suffering)

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In this series, I'm examining some things that Calvinists (especially my ex-pastor) say about predestination.   Here's the posts in the whole series:  the pastor's sermons  ("When Calvinists say 'But predestination!'"), and my comments  1-4 (election)  and  5-6 (Romans and sovereignty)  and  7-9 (depravity, Book of Life, predestine)  and  10-11 (shaming tactics, Feb. 2015)  and  12-14 (dead, regeneration, born again)  and  15 (total depravity, manipulation)   and  16A (God's Will, babies)  and  16B (sin, evil, suffering)  and  17 (double-speak and the gospel) . For the shorter "for everyone" version which has a lot less quotes and a lot less of my thoughts,  click here . Sixteen B (I broke #16 up into two halves, so picking up where we left off in the last post...) And now, moving on from the bulk of my comments to the bulk of the Calvinist quotes, showing you Calvinism in its ...
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Feminism Nonsense (repost)

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(Oh, how we love nonsense in our country!) We women are fighting so hard to be like men, to downplay femininity, to be perceived as more masculine, to overtake any "men's realm" we find.   Because it’s “cool” and “progressive” and “strong.” But do we not realize that we are not “leveling the playing field” so much as we are destroying ourselves , the things that make women special? Women can be strong, too.   And they don’t have to be like men to do it.   Trust me, I know.  I've had four children, one by c-section and three by natural, drug-free homebirth (with over 15 hours of labor for each one).  And then I work in the home every day, all day long.  No pay.  No vacation time.  No weekends off.  No bonuses.  No overtime pay. But I do it because my family and I value my position, my role.  Even if the world doesn't. W e women can be strong and capable and accomplished in our...
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Calvinism: Using unclear to interpret clear

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I just found and watched this video against Calvinism yesterday (I have no idea who this pastor is or what else he teaches, but this video was good and on-track, very simplified):  Trojan Horses in the Church Today, part 1: Calvinism I particularly like something he says near the beginning which neatly sums up the fundamental problem of Calvinism: "Calvinism is a man-made philosophy that is contradictory to Scripture.  It is built on the classic error - now listen carefully to this - of interpreting clear passages of Scripture by unclear passages of Scripture.  That is a violation of the ABC's of Bible interpretation.  One of the most basic rules of [Bible] interpretation is you interpret unclear passages by clear ones.  Not the other way around.  But Calvinism is  built on  the idea of interpreting clear, simple passages by unclear ones.  Therefore, if you start with the unclear and you start with a false idea, then you start looking at the ...
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A Crash Course in Calvinism (Calvinist Quotes)

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Here is the second half of  the letter  I wrote to pastors who I don't think are Calvinists but who quote from Calvinists a lot.  (I added a few extra quotes and notes that I didn't include in the letter I mailed to them.  When do I ever make anything shorter !?!): FYI, Here are some direct quotes from Calvinists, so that you can see what Calvinism really is in their own words, so that you can see that I’m not exaggerating or misunderstanding them  [my comments in brackets and italics] : John Calvin,  from  Institutes of the Christian Religion,  book 1, chapter 16 :  “Hence we maintain that, by his providence, not heaven and earth and inanimate creatures only, but also the counsels and  wills of men are so governed as to move exactly in the course which he has destined…  Men  do nothing save at the secret instigation of God , and do not discuss and deliberate on anything but what he has previously  decreed  with himse...
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Prove God's Existence?

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So the president of the Philippines says that if anyone can prove that God exists with a photograph then he will resign.  ( Click here to read that article.) Okay, then ... I would challenge him to prove that God doesn't exist.  Prove that there is no supernatural activity.  Prove that miracles don't happen.  Prove that there is nothing out there but what we can see.    And prove it with a photo or video.   If he can explore every inch of this universe and take pictures showing that there is nothing else out there ... if he can travel back in time and get video evidence that this universe started without God ... if he can prove that there is no spiritual dimension ... if he can come back from the dead and prove that there is nothing after this life ... then maybe I'll consider the possibility that there is no God. "Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked."   ( Galatians 6:7 )  If some national tragedy happens in the Philippines in ...
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A Place For Us All!

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  A fantastic song from a fantastic movie ( Jesus Revolution  - a favorite!):  Living Water  by Anne Wilson  As she rightly sings, "He paid  every  sinner's price!" And so "every outcast, every wrong-way, runaway rebel" - no matter who you are or where you've been - can come on down to the Living Water and find hope, healing, and eternal life in Jesus.   No one is hopeless.  No one is too far gone.  No one is destined for hell.   There's a place for us all in God's family.  All of us are able to and welcome to freely accept the gift of eternal life, paid for by Jesus's death for us all.   “For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.    For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."    ( John 3:16-17 ) "This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who w...
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