What Happened After Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer?

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Okay, so we all know that Grandma got run over by a reindeer ... but guess what happened next?

Grandpa's gonna sue the pants off of Santa

Who knew!?!  I sure didn't, not till just a few years ago.

(I'm warning you now: This one will get stuck in your head.)

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Destroying Calvinism in 28 Easy Steps (tiny version)

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Here is the tiniest-I-could-make-it version of "Fending Off Calvinism (a.k.a. Destroying Calvinism in 28 Easy Steps)"  (from my other blog) - which itself is the second half of a post called "Calvinism's Systematic Theology (and how to fend it off)" - about the fundamental errors of Calvinism that trap well-meaning Christians into a very bad, very deceptive, very tricksy theology.  I cut out as much as I could here, so check out the longer posts in the links above if you want a fuller picture and more information.   [Despite the title of this post, I know there's nothing easy about defeating or debating Calvinism.  It's such a tangled web of errors, with a cult-like vice-grip on people's minds, that it can't be defeated with just a few verses or rebuttals.  Its errors are so complex, interconnected, and deep-rooted that it needs to be completely dismantled idea by idea, wrong definition by wrong definition, misinterpreted verse by misinterpreted...
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List of Calvinist Preachers, Authors, Theologians, Websites, etc.

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I  found a lot more names to add to my list of known Calvinists (found in my various  "How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist"  posts).  But instead of adding this huge list to all those posts, I am going to put it here, and I'll just provide a link on those posts to this one.  [FYI: I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.] So here it is, a "master list" of known Calvinists to help you be careful and discerning about who you listen to and where you get your theology from.  There are plenty more Calvinists out there, but these are just the names that I ran across the most.   These are either definite, self-professed Calvinists or "most likely Calvinist," in my estimation.  (I haven't heard of most of them, but it's good to know their theology before I do.)   After finding these names in various places online, I looked up each person to see if they are Calvinist.  If they did not self-identify ...
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Alana L.: 4i (Why me?)

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This series is  loosely   based on this 14-minute video from Alana L.:   5 Signs Your Loved One is Becoming a Calvinist   Point #4:   I.  Alana notes that Calvinists will often ask "What makes me so special?  Why did I choose God but my friend or neighbor did not?  Obviously that means God chose me.  Because why would I choose God, and not them?" My note:  Alana notes that this is to shape the mind to "irresistible grace," to make us more amenable to the idea that God draws some but not others, which is the only explanation in Calvinism for why some believe and some don't.   I believe Calvinists have been brainwashed into thinking that if given a true free-will choice,  everyone  in the world would choose eternal life over eternal death.   No one  would voluntarily choose hell.  They assume that  if all people were really given the offer to be saved then  all people  would definitely...
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My Problem With Calvinism Is Not Really About Free-Will, But It's About ...

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  I was thinking last night about how Calvinists think that free-will is the big reason other people don't want to believe in Calvinism, as in "Well, you don't like the idea of not being in control of your own choices, and so that's why you won't accept Calvinism."   They use this to  shame anti-Calvinists, such as when my Calvi-pastor at our ex-church would say these things in sermons: "Most Americans have a hard time accepting God's sovereignty [a Calvinist's definition of it!].  They don't like the idea of someone being in authority over them.  They like to think they are in control of themselves, self-sufficient, standing on their own two feet.  And so they won't humble themselves before Him.  They  resist the idea of God being in control over them, of His sovereignty, because they like their free-will too much." But you know what? It's not about free-will.   My biggest grievance against Calvinism is not about a desire to have...
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Deciphering a Calvinist Church's Statement of Faith

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(This is taken from How to Tell if a Church, Pastor, or Website is Calvinist , with some additions at the bottom.  Remember that this is only my opinion, my assessment, and my suggestions, based of what I've learned about Calvinism so far.) A church's Statement of Faith tells you a lot about the theology of that church.  But some Calvinist churches are careful to hide their Calvinist views because they know it's controversial and might scare people off.  So they might be very careful with their wording and will not clearly identify themselves as "Calvinist" or "Reformed."  Sometimes it takes reading between the lines - being able to identify the "covert Calvinism" - to know if the church is Calvinist or not.  1.   First off, pay attention for one or more of these kinds of words and phrases:  election, predestination, decree, ordains or fore-ordains, sovereignty or sovereign control, "doctrines of grace," covenant theology, reforme...
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Things My Calvinist Pastor Said #2: You're Like a "Dead Body"

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[This "Things My Calvinist Pastor Said" series is a breakdown on this much longer post:  "We Left Our Church Because of Calvinism,"  which was written last year but updated July 2020.  All memes were created with  imgflip .   And these are not exact quotes, but they are summaries of what he said (exact quotes from his sermons can be found here ).] 2.   "We are as dead inside as physical dead bodies, unable to do anything.  Like a dead body that just lays there - all dead - we can't even think about, want, or seek God on our own unless God makes us do it, unless the Holy Spirit first regenerates our hearts and opens our eyes."   Calvinists call it "total depravity," but to them it's really "total inability."   [It's much more convincing and deceptive to call mankind "depraved" instead of "unable," because all Christians are willing to admit to the depravity of man.  But if Calvinists called it what they re...
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What Real Encouragement Looks Like Sometimes!

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Who would've thought that "encouraging each other in the Lord" would take the form of two hours of telling each other, "Yep, that crap's hard!"? - A text I got from a friend after a long conversation about the trials we've been through, the heartaches we've known, and how difficult life can be sometimes.  It made me smile!
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Avoiding Calvinist Websites

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(Excerpt from "How to tell if a church, pastor, or website is Calvinist" .  FYI, I added a note at the bottom of this post on May 5, 2021.) Did you ever wonder about the websites that pop up when you type a religious question into a browser?  Who are they?  Are they reliable?  Is the advice you're getting biblical and accurate?  What is their theological view? It's too easy to type in a question, find some "biblical" answer on a site, and think it’s the truth.  We, Christians, tend to be a trusting bunch of people, especially when someone uses a lot of Bible verses or when it's a popular website with big name theologians or authors.  And so we will probably not notice the Calvinist-bent that are found on many websites and blogs.      I wonder how many people have been led astray in this way.  Probably a lot, because many of the popular sites - the first ones to pop up when I type in a question - are Calvinist. Be ca...
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"Self-Quarantine" - A Parody To Make You Smile

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A parody we can all appreciate, totally made me smile: “Self-Quarantine” (a parody of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”) I love seeing people make the most of this social distancing time.   That's a family that's doing it right! (And now someone needs to change Abba's "Dancing Queen" to "Quarantine."  That would be a good one too.)
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Giggle Translate #17: Oh What Great Serenity

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This "giggle translate" is about my relationship with one of my brothers (I did two translations, just for fun). You know what, I'm gonna put the translated versions first and then the original paragraph of what really happened.  This way, you can read the translations first and try to figure out what really happened, and then see how right or wrong you are. Here goes: Translated version #1   ( After running my original paragraph through several languages with Google Translate) : Why hasn't one of my relatives loved me so much when we had so much fun and children?  We ate our table very quickly, and we got a reply within five seconds, but I did or ate so much that we ate less than half an hour later while watching.  Oh how beautiful!  The time has come when he may exchange fivepence when he asks, because he was more than fivepence.  And I extend it to meenie-miney-moe, so it always has to be "he" (so he has the power of blaming me but "I told him he alw...
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