Giggle Translate #13: Drunk Airport, Ice Cream Lions, and Death's Eyelashes
I wrote about a bunch of injuries I got when I was young, and then I translated it into many different languages with Google Translate, just to see what happened. First I will share what really happened, and then I will share how Google Translate reported it.
Original paragraph:
I have had my fair share of injuries as a youngin’. I was probably a mother’s worst nightmare. I broke my arm twice in the same spot, once from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong (they threw me too hard) and once from being pushed while on roller skates. With that one, my arm actually had a big arch where it’s not supposed to have an arch.
Another time, I jumped off the back steps of the same roller rink where I broke my arm and landed right on a metal pole that was sticking out of the ground. I could tell something wasn’t right, so I pulled my sock down to see. And when I did, I saw a bunch of skin all mushed up in a place it shouldn’t be. So I pulled my sock down further and saw no skin where skin should be. Apparently, the pipe ripped the skin off of that big boney-bump on the inside of my ankle. And instead of seeing skin, I actually saw the boney-bump. It took 26 stitches to sew me up. Eight on the inside, eighteen on the outside. It was my thirteenth birthday party! (I also got a pony for my thirteenth birthday! A real pony that I got to walk from the barn to my backyard so I could give my friends rides. So cool!)
I was knocked unconscious during another cheerleading stunt when they threw me in the air and then failed to catch me! What the heck is that about!?! And to make it more interesting, I was knocked unconscious on the gym floor, in front of the whole school as they waited for the pep rally to start. And when I woke up a few minutes later, I saw that my skirt was up and everyone could see my spankies (that “underwear thing” that we wear under out cheerleading skirts). No one fixed it for me during the several minutes I was unconscious in front of the whole school. Thank God we didn’t have cell phones with cameras back then!
And I was electrocuted really badly once. As a teenager, I worked at an ice-cream shop that stored the ice-cream in giant freezers. And while I was looking into one, I reached over to grab the handle of the other. Apparently, there was a leaky drip pan in one of them which caused the freezer to be “electrified.” So when I grabbed onto both handles, I completed a circuit between the two freezers and the electricity coursed through my body.
And there’s a lot of electricity in these freezers. They are so big that you could fit like four full-grown adults into each one. (Not that you should be shoving people into freezers or anything, because if you are, then you should probably be in jail.) And so it takes a lot of electricity to keep them cold, which means there was a lot of electricity coursing through my body.
It was actually like one of those cartoons where someone is stuck to the electrified thing. As hard as I tried, I could not pull my hand off of the handles. I screamed “DON’T! TOUCH! ME!” to my coworker who was standing there terrified (wouldn’t want her to be electrocuted too), as my face was being all contorted by the electricity.
As I pulled with all my might, I could see my hand slowly coming off of one handle, like a slow-motion dream sequence. When it finally came free, I was thrown back against the wall and crumpled into a sobbing mess.
And yet, being the responsible kid that I was, I stayed and finished my shift. No one took me to the hospital or called the doctor (just like no one did when I was knocked unconscious). But I wouldn’t touch two things at the same time the rest of the night. I worked with one hand tucked behind my back.
(My husband says that because of this electrocution, I now have some sort of ability to screw up electrical or motor devices just by using them. Seriously, it seems like the car only has electrical problems when I am using it. I would love to use my powers for good, but it seems to lean more towards a “super-villain” kind of havoc.)
I also once almost lost an eye. I was on a swing that was hung with a plastic rope. And my step-sister-at-the-time decided to twist me up as much as she could so that I would spin really fast when she let go. As she kept twisting me, I could hear the rope starting to make crackling noises and I told her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. A moment later, the rope broke and began to unravel really fast, whipping me in the eye. When I got up from the ground, my step-sister freaked out at what she saw. I ran inside and looked in the mirror and saw that the area around my eye had swelled up into a giant black-and-blue ball and my eye was swollen shut.
I had to wear an eye patch and look like a pirate for a while, but a couple weeks later, it was fine. Thank God! But I could have lost an eye or my vision that day, all because she wouldn’t stop twisting up the stupid swing. (She’s also the same person who pushed me when I was on roller skates and made me break my arm. I stopped going over to their house shortly after that.)
Those are some of the bigger accidents I have had, besides the several smaller times I’ve fallen out of the trees I loved climbing or fell when running across the road and ripped my face up. It’s no wonder I am the kind of mom who now yells, “Stop doing that or you’ll get hurt! You’re going to crack your head open! Get down from there or you’ll fall and break an arm! Don’t stand on that or it will flip out from under you and you’ll fall and break your neck! Don’t run on the driveway or you’ll fall and rip up your face!”
I know you may think that’s an overreaction, but let me tell you one more story. When my friend’s husband, Jon, was a kid, his mom used to tell him and his brothers not to run on the sidewalk or else they could fall and break their wrists. Well, one day, Jon’s brother was running on the sidewalk, and Jon reminded him not to do that. And then in an over-exaggerated, mocking demonstration of what not to do, Jon ran down the sidewalk saying something like, “See, we’re not supposed to run down the sidewalk because we might ...” and then he fell and broke his wrists. Both of them! See, we mothers do know a thing or two! (And, Jon, I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I love that story! Sorry for your wrists, but it is so poetically sit-comish! A classic!)
Translated version (I won't add comments to this one, but ... Wow, the things that get lost in translation!):
And boy, I seriously. He may be a serious problem mother. And he hath broken my arm on the same place twice, once for all, on account of the evils of clapping of hands (which he has also rejected too hard for me) is to be leveled with the roller skates that they drew up. On the other hand, my hand legions, there should be a big bow bow.
As soon as I jumped out of the back pocket of the same mountain where I broke my hand and landed on a metal pillar that protected me from the ground. I realized something was wrong, so I threw in a sock to see. When I did that, I noticed a broken neck in places I couldn't. So I pulled out my luggage and couldn't see the skin on the handle. Big mouth tube is clearly within the skin is injured ankles. And before I saw the skin, I saw the pan. It took 26 steps: eight in, eight out. This was my thirteenth birthday party! (My wife had a baby when I was thirteen! This was a real horse that I could put on the blanket or park for me to run around with my friends.)
I was devastated when they hit me, they kicked me in the air and they couldn't find me! How's that? ARE YOU !? And to make matters worse, I was a drunk airport, the whole school, and they were waiting for the wall to kick in. And when I woke up a few minutes later, I found out my scar was gone and everyone knew my punishment (we put this "underwear" under nice sheets). Nobody corrected me for a few minutes that I had no idea what the whole school was about. Fortunately, our phones and cameras do not work.
Immediately I was electrical engineering. When I was a child, I worked in an ice cream parlor, ice cream is kept in a huge lion. As I looked inside, I had to hold the other's throat. It is known to have soft lips, as the "Blitz" freezer says. Holding the ears, that cycle is ended, two freezers and a current flows through the body.
There is a natural power. Four adults are living longer. (Not because you have to keep it in the fridge or something, but because you have to put it in jail). Hence, it takes a lot of energy to stay calm, so there is a lot of energy.
All cards appear to be electronic. Because of the mindset, I couldn't keep things away. "Pooh! Glory! Me!" To my colleague, who was trembling there (they didn't want to report) because my face was red and electrified.
I felt my hand slowly like a soft snake. When he left my job, I was thrown against the wall and a big neck hit me in the back.
However, the boy was responsible for the end of the travel time. No one took me to the hospital or called a doctor (as no one did when I died). But for the rest of the evening I'm not going to hit them all at once. With your hands on him and hidden behind his back.
(My husband says this electrical noise means that I can only access the electricity or the machines he uses. I want to use my energy forever, but he also thought it was an abuse " worse ”it was).
I've lost an eye too, it's almost always there. Wrap a shirt over it by holding it by a plastic strap. So my client decided to do as much as possible to speed up my release. He kept talking to me, I told him to leave, but he listened. After a few minutes, the cable broke and I immediately realized what I had seen. I woke up on the ground seemed to get up repressed. I ran into the glass sphere and looked around and saw all liquid blue eyes and a black liquid. [Another translated version said this for the last line: "I looked in the mirror and saw that the eyes around the big screen were sparkling and the glass was rotten and the eyes were red." Kinda creepy!]
I must have been a face for pirates for a while, but after a few weeks everything went well. Thank God! But I can lose hope or know it today because it has stopped hating bites. (He was the one who stopped me when he got on the skateboard and allowed me to break my arm. After a while I left his house.)
That's what always happens to me in a few words, how often would I have a very great journey, and broke down the fall of the apple tree I fell while running. That does not feel like a mom and yelling: "Cabaret, so you'll get evil? Are you open your head! And you go away Capricorn will fall and break your arm? Then do the bus! And later on fall and break your neck! And you do not go the way through Capricorn will fall and break or your face?"
I know it's too much to think, but I will tell you a different story. Death is a friend of mine, where the young child was, he said to him: Thy mother and his brethren and his sons, and utterly destroy them, and do not let your flight be not gathered their armor together. In fact, he went down to the street of the death had not been warned by his brother, Jon the day to do. We ran to the sea and the salt and the sacred and dedicated to something like, "Look, it does not have to be, because it can not run on the road ..." and then collapsed weapons jets. Both of them! This skirt else knows? (Death, I told you before you and tell you, I like to play with your eyelashes. We're sorry, but the poetry is so awesome! Chance!)
Original paragraph:
I have had my fair share of injuries as a youngin’. I was probably a mother’s worst nightmare. I broke my arm twice in the same spot, once from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong (they threw me too hard) and once from being pushed while on roller skates. With that one, my arm actually had a big arch where it’s not supposed to have an arch.
Another time, I jumped off the back steps of the same roller rink where I broke my arm and landed right on a metal pole that was sticking out of the ground. I could tell something wasn’t right, so I pulled my sock down to see. And when I did, I saw a bunch of skin all mushed up in a place it shouldn’t be. So I pulled my sock down further and saw no skin where skin should be. Apparently, the pipe ripped the skin off of that big boney-bump on the inside of my ankle. And instead of seeing skin, I actually saw the boney-bump. It took 26 stitches to sew me up. Eight on the inside, eighteen on the outside. It was my thirteenth birthday party! (I also got a pony for my thirteenth birthday! A real pony that I got to walk from the barn to my backyard so I could give my friends rides. So cool!)
I was knocked unconscious during another cheerleading stunt when they threw me in the air and then failed to catch me! What the heck is that about!?! And to make it more interesting, I was knocked unconscious on the gym floor, in front of the whole school as they waited for the pep rally to start. And when I woke up a few minutes later, I saw that my skirt was up and everyone could see my spankies (that “underwear thing” that we wear under out cheerleading skirts). No one fixed it for me during the several minutes I was unconscious in front of the whole school. Thank God we didn’t have cell phones with cameras back then!
And I was electrocuted really badly once. As a teenager, I worked at an ice-cream shop that stored the ice-cream in giant freezers. And while I was looking into one, I reached over to grab the handle of the other. Apparently, there was a leaky drip pan in one of them which caused the freezer to be “electrified.” So when I grabbed onto both handles, I completed a circuit between the two freezers and the electricity coursed through my body.
And there’s a lot of electricity in these freezers. They are so big that you could fit like four full-grown adults into each one. (Not that you should be shoving people into freezers or anything, because if you are, then you should probably be in jail.) And so it takes a lot of electricity to keep them cold, which means there was a lot of electricity coursing through my body.
It was actually like one of those cartoons where someone is stuck to the electrified thing. As hard as I tried, I could not pull my hand off of the handles. I screamed “DON’T! TOUCH! ME!” to my coworker who was standing there terrified (wouldn’t want her to be electrocuted too), as my face was being all contorted by the electricity.
As I pulled with all my might, I could see my hand slowly coming off of one handle, like a slow-motion dream sequence. When it finally came free, I was thrown back against the wall and crumpled into a sobbing mess.
And yet, being the responsible kid that I was, I stayed and finished my shift. No one took me to the hospital or called the doctor (just like no one did when I was knocked unconscious). But I wouldn’t touch two things at the same time the rest of the night. I worked with one hand tucked behind my back.
(My husband says that because of this electrocution, I now have some sort of ability to screw up electrical or motor devices just by using them. Seriously, it seems like the car only has electrical problems when I am using it. I would love to use my powers for good, but it seems to lean more towards a “super-villain” kind of havoc.)
I also once almost lost an eye. I was on a swing that was hung with a plastic rope. And my step-sister-at-the-time decided to twist me up as much as she could so that I would spin really fast when she let go. As she kept twisting me, I could hear the rope starting to make crackling noises and I told her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. A moment later, the rope broke and began to unravel really fast, whipping me in the eye. When I got up from the ground, my step-sister freaked out at what she saw. I ran inside and looked in the mirror and saw that the area around my eye had swelled up into a giant black-and-blue ball and my eye was swollen shut.
I had to wear an eye patch and look like a pirate for a while, but a couple weeks later, it was fine. Thank God! But I could have lost an eye or my vision that day, all because she wouldn’t stop twisting up the stupid swing. (She’s also the same person who pushed me when I was on roller skates and made me break my arm. I stopped going over to their house shortly after that.)
Those are some of the bigger accidents I have had, besides the several smaller times I’ve fallen out of the trees I loved climbing or fell when running across the road and ripped my face up. It’s no wonder I am the kind of mom who now yells, “Stop doing that or you’ll get hurt! You’re going to crack your head open! Get down from there or you’ll fall and break an arm! Don’t stand on that or it will flip out from under you and you’ll fall and break your neck! Don’t run on the driveway or you’ll fall and rip up your face!”
I know you may think that’s an overreaction, but let me tell you one more story. When my friend’s husband, Jon, was a kid, his mom used to tell him and his brothers not to run on the sidewalk or else they could fall and break their wrists. Well, one day, Jon’s brother was running on the sidewalk, and Jon reminded him not to do that. And then in an over-exaggerated, mocking demonstration of what not to do, Jon ran down the sidewalk saying something like, “See, we’re not supposed to run down the sidewalk because we might ...” and then he fell and broke his wrists. Both of them! See, we mothers do know a thing or two! (And, Jon, I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I love that story! Sorry for your wrists, but it is so poetically sit-comish! A classic!)
Translated version (I won't add comments to this one, but ... Wow, the things that get lost in translation!):
And boy, I seriously. He may be a serious problem mother. And he hath broken my arm on the same place twice, once for all, on account of the evils of clapping of hands (which he has also rejected too hard for me) is to be leveled with the roller skates that they drew up. On the other hand, my hand legions, there should be a big bow bow.
As soon as I jumped out of the back pocket of the same mountain where I broke my hand and landed on a metal pillar that protected me from the ground. I realized something was wrong, so I threw in a sock to see. When I did that, I noticed a broken neck in places I couldn't. So I pulled out my luggage and couldn't see the skin on the handle. Big mouth tube is clearly within the skin is injured ankles. And before I saw the skin, I saw the pan. It took 26 steps: eight in, eight out. This was my thirteenth birthday party! (My wife had a baby when I was thirteen! This was a real horse that I could put on the blanket or park for me to run around with my friends.)
I was devastated when they hit me, they kicked me in the air and they couldn't find me! How's that? ARE YOU !? And to make matters worse, I was a drunk airport, the whole school, and they were waiting for the wall to kick in. And when I woke up a few minutes later, I found out my scar was gone and everyone knew my punishment (we put this "underwear" under nice sheets). Nobody corrected me for a few minutes that I had no idea what the whole school was about. Fortunately, our phones and cameras do not work.
Immediately I was electrical engineering. When I was a child, I worked in an ice cream parlor, ice cream is kept in a huge lion. As I looked inside, I had to hold the other's throat. It is known to have soft lips, as the "Blitz" freezer says. Holding the ears, that cycle is ended, two freezers and a current flows through the body.
There is a natural power. Four adults are living longer. (Not because you have to keep it in the fridge or something, but because you have to put it in jail). Hence, it takes a lot of energy to stay calm, so there is a lot of energy.
All cards appear to be electronic. Because of the mindset, I couldn't keep things away. "Pooh! Glory! Me!" To my colleague, who was trembling there (they didn't want to report) because my face was red and electrified.
I felt my hand slowly like a soft snake. When he left my job, I was thrown against the wall and a big neck hit me in the back.
However, the boy was responsible for the end of the travel time. No one took me to the hospital or called a doctor (as no one did when I died). But for the rest of the evening I'm not going to hit them all at once. With your hands on him and hidden behind his back.
(My husband says this electrical noise means that I can only access the electricity or the machines he uses. I want to use my energy forever, but he also thought it was an abuse " worse ”it was).
I've lost an eye too, it's almost always there. Wrap a shirt over it by holding it by a plastic strap. So my client decided to do as much as possible to speed up my release. He kept talking to me, I told him to leave, but he listened. After a few minutes, the cable broke and I immediately realized what I had seen. I woke up on the ground seemed to get up repressed. I ran into the glass sphere and looked around and saw all liquid blue eyes and a black liquid. [Another translated version said this for the last line: "I looked in the mirror and saw that the eyes around the big screen were sparkling and the glass was rotten and the eyes were red." Kinda creepy!]
I must have been a face for pirates for a while, but after a few weeks everything went well. Thank God! But I can lose hope or know it today because it has stopped hating bites. (He was the one who stopped me when he got on the skateboard and allowed me to break my arm. After a while I left his house.)
That's what always happens to me in a few words, how often would I have a very great journey, and broke down the fall of the apple tree I fell while running. That does not feel like a mom and yelling: "Cabaret, so you'll get evil? Are you open your head! And you go away Capricorn will fall and break your arm? Then do the bus! And later on fall and break your neck! And you do not go the way through Capricorn will fall and break or your face?"
I know it's too much to think, but I will tell you a different story. Death is a friend of mine, where the young child was, he said to him: Thy mother and his brethren and his sons, and utterly destroy them, and do not let your flight be not gathered their armor together. In fact, he went down to the street of the death had not been warned by his brother, Jon the day to do. We ran to the sea and the salt and the sacred and dedicated to something like, "Look, it does not have to be, because it can not run on the road ..." and then collapsed weapons jets. Both of them! This skirt else knows? (Death, I told you before you and tell you, I like to play with your eyelashes. We're sorry, but the poetry is so awesome! Chance!)
[Like I said ... wow! And some of this stuff sounds like what a parrot or cockatoo would be screaming, a bird who just says words but doesn't understand them, especially the stuff about moms yelling to the kids about "Cabaret, so you'll get evil..." And who knew playing with Death's eyelashes could be so much fun!?! I sure didn't.]
