Lord, I Don't Know ... But Hallelujah Anyway!

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We don't often know why things happen the way they do or why God allows what He does, but that's okay.  We don't have to know, because God does.  ("Lord, I Don't Know" by the Newsboys)

And if we're going to be singing "Hallelujah" all eternity anyway, why not start now?  ("Hallelujah" by the Newsboys)


I've found that sometimes the only way to deal with feeling hopeless, downtrodden, and brokenhearted is to sing, even when you don't want to.  In fact, especially when you don't want to. 

Just sing anyway!

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White horses and a cup of tea (part 3)

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[I'm working my way through this slowly.  Click here for part 1 and part 2 of this series.]  First, here's The White Horse Parable again (my version): A man and his son owned a field that they farmed for a living.  And one day, they found a white horse in the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer.  "A free horse." But then the horse started tearing up their plants.   "Oh, this is terrible.  What a curse!" cried the farmer.   But then they caught the horse and tamed it and were able to use it to farm the field. "Oh, what a blessing," said the farmer. But then the son was thrown off the horse, broke both arms, and couldn't farm for months, reducing their sales and income. "Oh, what a curse," said the farmer. "I wish this horse never came to us.  Why, God?  Why!?!" But then a war started, and the army issued a draft.  But because the son had broken arms, he was excused from the draft and didn't have to f...
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Updated: Alana L. 5K "sovereign"

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[I redid Point #5 and #6 in the Alana L. series on my other blog (and re-lettered the posts).  But instead of going back and changing the already-posted points on this blog, I'll just add the posts in their own little "series."  Some of this stuff is in the already-published posts on this blog, but a lot is new and/or changed.  FYI: I've already got the posts in this series preset to be published every other week up into late 2026.  So there will be a long series of posts about Calvinism coming up, but with some non-series/non-Calvinism posts thrown in now and then for variety or fun.]   Point #5:  K : "Sovereign, sovereign, sovereign, sovereign."     Hahaha, Alana nailed this one!   And as she said,  "What many new Calvinists don't understand, and what they'll learn little by little by little - because if they were told this in the beginning they probably would catch on a little too quick and not follow the path  [Bi...
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9 Marks of a Calvinist Cult #3 (multiple layers)

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[This series is  "The 9 Marks of a Calvinist Cult"  split up into smaller, individual posts.]   3.   Multiple Layers for Maximum Deception In Calvinism, there are always layers, at least two: the one they want you to see and the one they don't.  What they say and what they mean.  What they want you to  think  they really believe and what they  really  believe. If you read  Piper's article , you'll notice  how somewhat sweet and humble he makes his hard-core Calvinism seem.  But do you notice what's missing? The flipside.  The bad parts.  The parts that would raise most Christians' red flags.  The thing is, he's only sharing one layer of Calvinism, only telling the story from the side of the Calvinist elect and God's relationship to them.   But he hides the deeper, darker layer, completely ignoring how God relates to the non-elect.   If Calvinist teachings sound like "good news," it's only...
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In "Honor" of Halloween: My Story of Demonic Harassment (repost)

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(Reposted from last year and retold in various other posts.  I may just repost this one yearly at this time of year.) In “honor” of Halloween (a day that deserves no honor), I’m gonna share with you why we don’t celebrate Halloween.   (We take our kids to a movie instead, or buy a movie they’ve been wanting and have a “family movie night” with candy and popcorn.   So no need to feel sorry for them; they are not deprived.)   I don’t expect anyone to believe me, but I’m going to share my story.    (And for the longer version of this story on my other blog, click here .)  It’s my story about how I came to fully trust in Jesus’s name and to passionately cling to Him, to never be able to doubt the existence of a spirit world, to place such a high priority on prayer and God’s Word, and to always remember my need for spiritual armor.   And once again, you don’t have to believe me.   (But don’t say I never warned you.   And if you are ...
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The Hobbit

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(Reposted from my other blog, from 2014, but edited quite a bit.  My sons and I have been obsessively watching the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies lately.  Okay, mostly me.  But I can't get enough of them!  I'm starting on the books now too.  A great way to spend lockdown.) I was driving to the flower shop today to pick up some onion transplants when I heard a line from a song that really stuck with me.    It was something about ‘not knowing how the journey will end.’    And it hit me that that’s exactly what has always scared me about life ... not knowing where things are headed.  To me, everything feels doomed, like tragedy and heartache are always right around the corner.    And so I guess I live with a constant, deep sense of anxiety and discouragement.    Always waiting for the next bad thing.                And I began to think, " Why do I always have to thi...
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My Panic Attack (repost)

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(Reposted from my blog, https://myimpressionisticlife.blogspot.com , from 2016.   A really bad year for me.) I wrote this in the post called “Random Facts about Me.  Just for Fun!” on my other blog.  It’s #64 on the list.  But I think it deserves its own post.  So I am reposting it here, because it fits with the theme of this blog.   If you’ve ever had a panic attack, maybe you can relate.  I hope not, though.  Because panic attacks suck!             64.   I had a small panic attack three days ago (May 30, 2016).  It’s the first one I’ve ever had and I don’t plan on ever having another one.  [I also once had a minor nervous breakdown during my parents’ very messy divorce.  It was so bad that the only way I could start breathing and stop crying was to flee from everything, to jump in the car with my husband and two kids and run away to the middle of nowhere for a little while.]
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Prayer, Faith, and God's Will

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(repost, summary of “Understanding God’s Will,” Question 9, Q9a -Q9i)             “‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered.   ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.   Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.’” ( Mark 11:22-24 )                    I have to be honest.   I struggle with this verse more than any other.   I really do.   I mean, it sounds pretty straightforward to me: believe that you’ll get what you ask for and you’ll get it.   Name it and claim it!   Sounds great!               But there’s a problem.            ...
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The Spiritual Loneliness of a Messy Faith

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             As I have walked this journey of faith, I learned something that I never read in any book on faith:               The deeper you go in your walk with the Lord, the lonelier it can get.               The higher you climb on the mountain of faith, the less people you’ll find climbing with you.               First off, other people can’t go with you into the hardest parts of your journey - when you are struggling the most with your faith, with the hardest trials, with the deepest truths and doubts and fears.   Those struggles are between you and yourself and the Lord.
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Little Drummer Boy #1

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My all-time favorite classic Christmas song has got to be the Little Drummer Boy.   If I’m listening to this song and start to think too much about it, I start to well up with tears.  Every time. My sons occasionally ask me why this is my favorite Christmas song.   “It’s stupid and it doesn’t make sense,” they say. I answer like this: “This song is about a little boy who’s poor.  And he wants to bring Jesus a gift.  But he doesn’t have anything to give him.  And so he gives the baby Jesus the only gift he has to give – a song.  And this poor boy is drumming his little heart out for the Lord, because that’s all he has to give.  But it’s enough.  And the baby Jesus smiles.” Usually, I am trying to hold back tears as I share this with my sons.  But they simply reply that it's still stupid, before running off to play. But that’s okay. I don’t expect them to get it yet.   And in some ways, I almost hope t...
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Giggle Translate #10: Whispers, Tired Cabbage, and North Korea

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Here is the original section I wrote for   my life story   over at my other blog: I am also a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology.  But that sounds more impressive than it really is, because I actually have very little counseling experience. And my first “attempt” at it wasn’t very impressive, either.  My very first counseling job was, of course, as an intern.  I was supposed to sit in with my supervisor as he counseled a reluctant teen boy.  And I was hugely pregnant with my first child. Before going into the counseling room, I was passing through the office when a bowl of butterscotch candies called out to me,  “Heather, you want one of us!  We look good, don’t we?  Go ahead, take one!  The baby wants butterscotch!”   A little voice in my head said,  “Don’t do it.”   But did I listen?  No!  I grabbed a piece and popped it in my mouth.  After all, I was just ...
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