UGW #9e and 9f: Unanswered Prayer & Maybe God's Not Listening

Understanding God's Will 9e: Humbled By Unanswered Prayer:

Another problem with the “name it and claim it” interpretation is that we are tempted to bail on God, to criticize ourselves for our “weak” faith, or to question Him when we don’t get the answers that we want or thought we would get.  It confuses us, discourages us, and blows our understanding of God and His Word out of the water.  And I think that God allows this helplessness and futility so that we can learn that it’s not about us, it’s all about Him!  That He is God and we are not!  And so that we dig deeper into the Word to see who God really is and what He has to say through all of it - and not just through the few passages that we are familiar with, that tell us we get what we want when we pray.  
           
We want to lead and have control by our prayers, whereas true faith in God says, “Whatever happens, I still believe in You.  And I will follow where You lead.”  

It’s not that the strength of our faith gets our prayers answered the way we want; it’s that our prayers get answered the way God wants when we put our tiny, weak faith squarely on Him and His glory.  And many times, that means that He has to change and mold our prayers to be in line with His Will as we struggle with the wait and the “lack of answer.”   
            
Our hope should not be in some future answer to our prayers, that God will eventually give us what we want if we just hang in there long enough and drum up enough confidence in Him to do it.  (Oh, how many times I fall into that!)  Our hope should be in the fact that God is here now and that He is working things out in His time and in His way, even if they don’t match our time and way.  It’s not letting the darkness and confusion pull us away from God, but letting it draw us even nearer to Him. 

            
When we get past the point of needing our way and our timing to keep our faith alive, when we give up the "need" to get the answer we want and we passionately cling to Him instead, then we have learned to humbly put our faith in God, and not in some idea of who we think God should be and how He should act. 

            
When we get to the point where God - and not some particular answer - has become what we really need, then He has become God in all areas of our lives, even in the pain and unanswered prayer and confusion.  And it is then that we find ourselves and our desires transformed.  When we are no longer concerned with what we think we need, we are free to be concerned with what God knows we need and with what He wants us to do, for His glory and Kingdom.  

9f: Maybe God's Not Listening:

Okay, now this is a lot to think about already.  But there is more.  (And even more than what I am saying here.)  On top of all that I’ve already said, there are many more verses that shed light on why our prayers may not be effective.  We have a much greater responsibility than we realize in making sure that our prayers get heard. 
           
For one, maybe part of the reason that our prayers aren’t “working” and that it seems like God isn’t listening is because ... God isn’t listening!  

“Whoa!  Wait!” you say.  “How could you dare to say something like that?”  

Well, let me explain.  We want God to be there when we want Him, and we want Him to give us what we ask for.  And so we single out verses like Mark 11:22-24 to convince ourselves that our only job is to ask and believe, and then He’ll do it.  (If this is the case, the best thing that God can do is not answer our prayers as we desire.) 

            
But what we don’t do is consider the many verses that highlight our responsibilities in making sure our prayers are heard.  God is not manipulated to do whatever we want by our level of “faith.”  (Yes, He wants our faith and requires our faith, but faith is not genuine faith when we use it as a tool to get what we want.)  But we do have an effect on the effectiveness of our prayers by how we live and by the condition of our hearts. 

            
Psalm 66:17-19:  “I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.  If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.”

            
If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened!   

When we cry out to God honestly (not just thinking it, but actually putting it into prayer) and with a sensitive heart and humble spirit, He listens.  But if we chose to live in self-sufficiency or if we harbor sin in our hearts, He is not obligated to listen to or answer our prayers.  Because we have put up a wall between us.  We have chosen distance.   We are not seeking His Will but our own.  And so we are blocking God from hearing our prayers and from answering them. 

            
This shows me the importance of Psalm 139:23-24:  “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  

This really should be a daily thing, asking God to search our hearts and reveal anything that we need to ask forgiveness for or make amends for.  (And admittedly, I don’t do this every day as I should.  Usually, I forget to do it until things get to be too much for me to handle.  I have to sometimes be forced by helplessness to passionately seek God.) 

            
So if we wonder why our prayer life seems weak or if we are going before Him with a very serious need, maybe we should spend some time evaluating our hearts.  Because hiding sin in our hearts is a wall between us and God, and it has an effect on our prayers.  In fact, look at the very next verse after Jesus tells us that we will get anything we ask for if we believe ...      

            
Mark 11:25:  “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins.”  

And this echoes Matthew 6:14-15:  “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” 

            
I don’t know about you, but this is a very hard teaching to absorb.  (And it doesn't make any sense in regards to Calvinism which believes that God essentially controls everything we do, which would include not forgiving someone.)  I will not be forgiven based on my unforgiveness towards others.  And my unforgiving state has an effect on whether or not my prayers get heard, because ongoing, unconfessed sin in my life blocks God from listening to my prayers.  And it blocks me from being of any real use to Him. 

            
Now, I do not believe that these verses are saying that we will lose our salvation.  I believe that there are two levels of forgiveness.  One relates to the moment we chose Jesus as our Savior and we were forgiven of our sins, as a whole, so that we could attain salvation.  This is a permanent forgiveness.  And we can’t lose that by any sin we commit.  Because if we could lose it by our sins then Jesus’ death was not enough.  And it would be meaningless if it didn’t fully meet God’s requirements for our salvation.  And He would have to die over and over again for every new sin.   

            
Now, the other level of forgiveness, though, relates to the condition of our relationship with the Lord and our daily walk with Him.  When we sin, we break fellowship with Him and we prevent ourselves from attaining the abundant, God-glorifying life that we should have.  Like in a marriage, a sin doesn’t necessarily mean that you run out and get divorced, but it does interfere with the condition of your relationship with your spouse.  And we need to confess these sins as they happen to restore proper fellowship. 

            
There are numerous other passages in the Bible that say the same thing.  The fact that we have responsibilities in maintaining a proper, godly relationship with God - that we have an effect on the effectiveness of our prayers - is a very real teaching that should be taken seriously.  Whether or not we forgive someone else has an effect on our relationship with God and on if He hears our prayers or not.

(I wonder, what sense does forgiveness really make, if Calvinism is true?  So we are supposed to forgive people for the bad things that God supposedly made them do for His glory.  He caused whatever they did, for His glory, and yet we're supposed to see what they did as wrong and forgive them for it?  Interesting!  So essentially, whatever wrong they did to us is actually a God-glorifying thing, which makes it a good, godly thing.  So evil things are good and God-glorifying.  So then what is it that they did that actually needs forgiving?  They were just doing God's Will, for His glory.  Why would they need forgiveness for that?)   

            

And not only do we have the responsibility to forgive others and to seek forgiveness from God, but we are to ask for forgiveness from others for any offenses we have made against them.

            
Matthew 5:23-24:  “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”  Being reconciled to others is so important to God that we are not even supposed to offer our gifts at the altar until we do.   

            
But how many of us harbor bitterness towards others for some offense?  How many can’t let it go because it seems so justified?  They deserve it, right?  Or how many of us won’t seek reconciliation because we don’t think that we should have to?  We didn’t do anything wrong; it was all them ... right!?!  (Or how many Calvinists feel that they had no control over what they did because Calvi-god ordained it for his plans and glory, and so they shouldn't have to be sorry for it?)

But forgiveness is not so much about the other person; it’s about our relationship with God.  The Word makes it clear that the responsibility rests with us to forgive anything that we have against someone else and to seek forgiveness from others and from God, if we want to approach God in prayer.  And if we don’t, it blocks God from forgiving us, which blocks God from hearing our prayers.   

            
And even worse, unforgiveness towards others (or any resistance to confessing any sin in our lives, for that matter) shows hard-heartedness, which is diametrically opposed to a healthy, open relationship with God.  And we will further block ourselves off from being sensitive to the Holy Spirit.  And the longer we resist, the more we will entrench ourselves behind the wall that we have put up between us and the Lord.  And the more numb and desensitized - and self-justified - we will feel.  

            

It’s all about your heart and if you humble yourself before a holy God.  How many of our prayers go unheard because of our heart’s condition and our attitude towards others?  

Pride, bitterness, envy, gossip, idol worship, unforgiveness, ungodly speech, getting drunk, cheating, giving into temptations, lust, affairs, sex outside of marriage, acting out in anger, worry, etc., are all sins that need to be confessed and repented of, if we want God to hear our prayers and to have the most effective life for Christ. 

            
It’s shocking, I know.  I mean, God hears all of our prayers, right?  So how can I say that He doesn’t?  I don’t think it’s so much that He doesn’t “hear” them, but that we bind Him from working in our lives and from answering them because we have chosen to walk away from Him in our sins.  We have chosen the roadblock.  We have chosen sin.  And we can’t hold onto sin and hold onto Him at the same time.  (And remember that 1 John 5:14-15 says that God "hears" the prayers that are in line with His Will.  All the other prayers are really just us talking to Him, but not calling Him to do His Will.  So if you want effective prayers, it would be good to spend time in prayer asking God what He wants you to pray, what His Will is, even if it's different from yours.) 

            

And once again, we need to bring this back to actually praying for forgiveness (for us and for when we need to forgive others) and healing our relationship with God, not just thinking about it.  Look at this verse 2 Chronicles 7:14-15:  “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.  Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.”  

If we pray for forgiveness, which is definitely in His Will for us, He will hear.  But if we just think about it, He won't.  He's left it up to us.

For the posts in this series, see the "Understanding God's Will" label in the sidebar (or find the original series, without the Calvinism info, by clicking here).