What Will You Do When You Stand Before The Lord?

A question popped into my head the other day as I was contemplating this whole "What if it is the end times?" thing.

I was imagining what it would be like to "finish the race" - to finally run across the finish line into heaven and into the Lord's presence.  I was thinking about what I would do in that moment.

For years, I've imagined that I would cross that finish line ... and then I would immediately curl up into a ball all alone somewhere and just start sobbing.  And I would cry and cry until I couldn't cry anymore.   

Life has been so ... I don't know ... full of struggle, I guess.  Lots of feelings of failure and being not good enough and too many broken dreams and dashed hopes.  I have run and run so hard sometimes that I have thoroughly exhausted myself.  And lately, I have gone through intense times of anxiety and depression and extreme loneliness and pulling back more and more from people for various reasons.  

I mean, I adore my family and things are generally good with us.  We have been blessed abundantly.  But life has kicked me down so many times that I have almost learned to stay down, to stop wanting to get back up again.  I have had to learn to cling to faith when all else was shaken, to have confidence in the Lord when I lost all confidence in myself.  

And, of course, learning to trust the Lord in the hardest times - to cling desperately to faith when all else is shaken - is a good thing.  A valuable lesson.  But it's only made me long more for the end, for Jesus's return, for a good, long cry when it's all done.  

I would cry out of exhaustion for all my "trying too hard."  I would cry out of joy for the fact that the struggle is over.  I would cry out of fear that I let the Lord down too many times and that I didn't do "good enough."  

I would just cry!

Anyway, all of this triggered three questions that I think might be worth asking yourself:

"What do you picture yourself doing when the race ends?  When you cross that finish line?"  Will you cry all alone?  Will you raise your arms in joy and high-five others?  Will you rush to hug the Lord?  Will you confidently and calmly saunter across the finish line, content that your life was all you wanted it to be?  Will you shudder in fear at the thought that you have to face the Lord and give an account for how you lived?  Will you feel like you wasted your time on earth on meaningless things, like there will be no heavenly reward waiting for you?  Etc.

"What does this say about how you are living your life?"

"Do you need to change anything before you find yourself standing face-to-face with the Lord, giving an account for how you lived and seeing which of your accomplishments counted/lasted and which burned up on earth?"

I truly think - hope and pray - that we are so near the End, that Jesus is coming back soon.  (I don't know how we couldn't be close to the end.  I don't know how life can go on much longer like it is.)  

So go ahead ... When you have a quiet moment, take the time to imagine yourself crossing the finish line.  How will you cross that line?  What do you think you'll do when you see Jesus face to face for the first time?  Does this tell you anything about how you're living and if anything needs to change?  Is there anything left undone?